#Love and fear and friendship and anger and hate and healing...

[shikai-the-storyteller]

It's taking me ages to write this chapter because every time I look through old VODs / notes to check something, I come across moments like this that make me want to lie down face-first on the floor:

[Context: Pac commits to the idea of taking the Happy Pills so he can create a cure. He's about to write a note to Cellbit to explain his plan.]

Pac: If Cellbit puts himself in this position, it's worse for everyone, because Cellbit is smarter when it comes to coming up with strategic plans, so he is the thinking mind of the Favela Five group, so if he no longer has the mind, he’s not capable of solving this whole problem, you know? But if I put myself in this position to help Cellbit so he can get the cure... You understand? It's better if I'm the bait. Right? I can't- I can't carry things alone guys, I've already lost Mike [...] if I lose Cellbit and I alone had to carry things, I won't be able to. But I think Cellbit can manage better. He is more independent, and he has Roier. He has a husband. I'm trying to– to be lucid here, understand? That's all.

Date: September 11, 2023 || Timestamp: 03:10:10

[luna-azzurra]

Ways I Show a Character Who Believes They’re the Villain in Everyone Else’s Story

╰ Behavioral Red Flags

They assume the worst intentions in themselves, even when they act out of love. They brought you coffee? Probably just guilt. They helped you move? Must be manipulating you so you "owe" them later. (They just care. But they can't believe that's true.)

They over-apologize for existing. You bump into them and somehow they’re the ones apologizing, looking like they've personally inconvenienced your entire bloodline.

They self-monitor everything. Every joke they make. Every word they say. Every look they give. Constant little glances at people's faces, desperate for signs that they’ve messed up again.

They let people treat them badly because they think they deserve it. Rudeness? Sure. Being overlooked? Of course. Public humiliation? Absolutely par for the course. Standing up for themselves feels wrong, like a thief demanding a refund.

They preemptively distance themselves when things get good. Got a close friendship brewing? Time to pull away before they find out I'm terrible. New romance? Better end it now before they hate me.

They assume jokes about "bad people" are secretly about them. "You know those selfish jerks who never change?" someone says. Their inner monologue: That’s me. They mean me.

They play up their flaws. Self-deprecating humor, but not cute self-roasting, deep, almost aggressive, like they’re trying to hand you the knife before you even think about stabbing.

They struggle to accept forgiveness. Apologizing feels natural. Being forgiven feels alien. Like wearing shoes on the wrong feet.

╰ Thought Patterns That Wreck Them

"Even when I try to do the right thing, I mess it up." Trying doesn't absolve them. Trying just delays the inevitable hurt they’ll cause someone else."People are nice to me because they don't know who I really am." Kindness isn't acceptance to them — it's a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode when the "truth" comes out.

"If someone is angry at me, they must be right." They don't even question it. Anger directed at them must be justified. They deserve it.

"If I succeed, it's by accident. If I fail, it's because I suck." Zero credit for wins. Full credit for losses. The math of their self-esteem is so rigged it should be illegal.

"If I ask for help, I'm manipulating people." Needing something feels like emotional blackmail in their mind. Better to suffer in silence than risk "forcing" someone to care.

╰ The Tiny Physical Tells

Laughing after their own serious statements, as if to soften the blow of speaking honestly.

Keeping their hands visible when talking (subconscious "I'm not a threat" behavior).

Flinching when someone raises their voice, even if it’s not directed at them.

Making themselves physically smaller—shoulders hunched, arms crossed, shrinking into themselves like they can disappear if they just try hard enough.

Dropping eye contact when complimented.

Holding their breath without realizing it when waiting for someone's reaction.

╰The Relationships They Gravitate Toward (And Why):

Fixer-Upper Friendships: They think they have to earn affection by being useful, by helping, by being "the strong one."

Unbalanced Dynamics: They let people use them because "at least I'm being helpful, even if they don't actually care about me."

Romantic Partners Who Validate Their Worst Fears: They often fall for people who treat them like they’re a burden—because it matches the script in their head.

Or... Relationships That Terrify Them: Because if someone genuinely loves them, they’re always waiting for the moment that person "wakes up" and sees the "monster" they believe themselves to be.

╰ How They Might Heal (If They’re Lucky)

(And if the author isn’t an emotional sadist. 👀)

A relationship where mistakes are allowed, not punished.

Someone calling them out, not for being bad, but for being unkind to themselves.

Tiny acts of trust that stick over time, slowly poisoning the idea that they’re inherently toxic.

Learning that being flawed and being villainous are not the same damn thing.

Being told, over and over, "You don't have to earn love by being perfect."

[brynnsasha191]

Despite what tdp reddit might say, Rayllum is a very beautiful story of love.

It's a story of two people who were born on opposite sides of a war that they didn't cause, a war caused by the hatred they don't understand. It's a story of two people who saw the same reluctance to hate and go along with taught prejudices they had in each other. It's a story of two people who chose to trust each other. It's a story of two people who had no option but to be there for each other.

It's a story of two friends who helped each other over come fears and traumas and triggers. Two friends who confronted and called out the injustice of their world, despite the loss of family and friends. Two friends whose trust in each other saved lives and hatched a dragon egg. Two friends who defended each other from their own and each others hateful cultures.

It's a story of two lovers who dared the world to try and stop their love and their vision for a better world. Two lovers whose love was so profound that they wanted to make such a love possible for everyone else. Two lovers who were able to compromise and make decisions together and respect each other under deeply emotional and stressful situations. Two lovers whose love connected so many people like string and brought them all together to defend the world from great evil.

Two lovers whose love stretched over two years of painful separation.

It's a story of two strangers whose love have haunted each other for two years. Two strangers who desperately want to find their way back to each other and heal their wounds, but don't know how to. Two strangers who had to learn who the other had become over the years, while still knowing they could still trust each other with their lives. Two strangers who need to save the world together.

It's a story of two friends who are learning to carry their scars without shame and without fear of asking for help carrying those scars. Two friends who would do anything for each other. Two friends who fondly remember what it was like to love each other but simultaneously know they aren't ready for that yet. Two friends who are enjoying their friendship again, and enjoying making each other laugh like old times. Two friends whose trust in each other saved their lives. Two friends who go on long and important journeys with each other.

And it's the story of two lovers. And how their love conquered their fear, regret, and trauma. Two lovers who stand by each others side and help each other through frustration and anger. Two lovers whose love is their calm in storms. Two lovers whose love no longer risks lose, but instead gains family and friends back. Two lovers who continue to stand tall against evil. Two lovers whose love is so strong that they are willing to sacrifice it. Two lovers who have grown and changed but still found their way back to each other. And will never have to be apart again.

It's their mistakes and faults that turned them into what they became. A beautiful story of love that defied all odds, a love that ended a war, a love that will grow old and cement itself into history pages. Tdp reddit, you will always be hated by me.

[cryinginmyroomsposts]

Svt as specific tropes cuz I am in a writer's block

a/n: these are purely personal opinions/ imagines. not proofread!

Scoups: enemies to lovers (I'm talking dagger to the throat enemies to "who hurt you" pipeline. scoups and his competitive petty ass would be perfect with an equally competitive and hot-headed oc. I'm talking sizzling chemistry, extreme frustration to tooth-rotting fluff)

Jeonghan: Frenemies to angst to friends to lovers (light-hearted frenemies until one day Jeonghan takes the joke a little too far which leads to angst and years of no-contact. A chance encounter during lowest times leading to a soft adult friendship evolving to a soft and chaotic lovers pipeline)

Joshua: strangers to comfort person to lover (he gives me a feel-good coming of age feels so I'll take a storyline with the heartbroken or worn down oc finding comfort in Shua who could be a stranger or a kind colleague. a full "we helped heal each other" and then moving away due to circumstances only to realise that you need your comfort person)

Jun: holiday romance (nana tour Jun vibes. two strangers in a random city who decide to spend a week having the utmost fun and never meet again... but of course fate brings them together and the angst of reality to eventually finding a balance in the paradise of their holiday whirlwind and reality... it's giving romcom)

Woozi: Best Friends pining for decades (A very soulmate-ish friendship. Woozi and oc are so extremely obvious about their feelings but are oblivious to the reciprocation- it's also obvious to everyone around them. The angst of "what-ifs", and ofcourse songs written abt the feelings, to angry confessions and happy endings. this one includes a lotttt of angst and dozens of bangers mixed with peak domestic behaviour and two ppl so attuned to each other like old married couples)

Hoshi: Accidental dance partners Hoshi and oc (might sound basic but I'm a dancer and it's a very indulgent trope... so yeah! I'm thinking college team dancers in competing teams are forced to pair up for a competition. Out-of-the-world chemistry- can't keep eyes and hands off each other, late night talks, "non-date" date nights and ofc anger issues(performers, duh!). Lots of parties, angst and eventually confessing. She falls first but he falls harder)

Wonwoo: second-chance romance (I think Wonwoo, I think angst(sorry wonu) and second chance. oc and wonu having whirlwind honeymoon phase until oc pushes him away. lots and lots of angst- confused wonu not knowing how to help oc. both of them miserable without the other... until Wonwoo can't take it anymore and makes oc lean on him for support. very gray and grounded in reality romance)

Dokyeom: Small-town romance (sunshine Lee Seokmin as a charming small-town business owner helping big-city-return troubled oc deal with life and falling in love? sign me up for the hallmark movie! Seokmin and his golden best boy smile healing hearts as always)

Mingyu: Arranged Marriage Trope (once again, a very self-indulgent imagination...Oc who doesn't believe in love after a heartbreak, Mingyu who accepted his destiny and never loved anyone. A very practical arranged marriage with both consenting parties. An agreement to stay "partners" and "friends" because they "Can't force feelings". Domestic life leads them to break every rule- written and unwritten... angst rising due to pasts and insecurity... oc's fear of abandonment, Mingyu's fear of attachment... a minor separation and major realisation... their very own happy ending at last! Mingyu Best Husband Agenda forever)

Minghao: Rival Artists with secret identities dating each other (Minghao dates the pretty stranger on a dating app, agree to keep things casual but lo behold they are falling fast and hard... all is well except both have secret identities as artists who are rivals. they love each other but hate the other's alter-ego... ofc this leads to miscommunication and angst, lost ways and breakups. but this is my imagination so they end up together after everything and conquer the art world)

Seungkwan: Celebrity Fake dating trope (Seungkwan would eat that shit up! Two A-list celebs: Seungkwan and oc, who appear together in a show and fans go crazy for their chemistry but they don't pay head. oc gets caught in a false accusation, needs a distraction- agencies make oc and Seungkwan fake date... on-camera they r perfect but off-cam it's all awkward... planned appearances to becoming friends, trauma bonding... sexual tension rises, life gets complicated, lots of angst later they end up dating happily)

Vernon: Falling without meeting each other (two online friends, fake names but authentic friendship across continents fall for each other without ever meeting other. against all odds they end up seeing each other eventually and staying together... this gives me old cinema vibes but in modern times, Vernon is so Vernon that only he'd be fitting)

Dino: High school fake dating (imagine Dino as Peter Kavinsky from To All The Boys I've Loved Before... a popular softie boy agreeing to fake date the silent girl, the only twist is Dino has been in love with her since middle school, he fell first and harder- a full simp! Very romcom coded angst and happy endings ofc- i just know Dino will make a perfect romcom male lead)

[wandabear]

CHEERFUL OBLIVION - WANDA MAXIMOFF X FEMALE READER (CHAPTER TWO)

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Summary: Your duty is to watch her 'till Chton comes for her, even if you hate it, but do you really hate it? Especially when you start to get to know Wanda. The bond begins to torment you. But, oh Lord, you've never been so in love. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

chapter one chapter two chapter three chapter four chapter five chapter six

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masterlist

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tw: angst, violence, mentions of death, fluff, angst with a happy ending.

Jules/Stolas is portrayed by Adelaide Kane. Here.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤchapter two

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ Almost four months have passed since Wanda and Y/N met. Even if the progress was slow, the Sokovian looked less sad, every time she left her room it was to go see Y/N or spar with Natasha.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ Although they sometimes had dinner with the Avengers, they always had a special moment together. Wednesdays and Fridays were their 'special days just for two'.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ Missions have been difficult but nothing that endangered her friends. Friends, this is how Wanda was beginning to see the people around her. They were no longer the 'avengers', Nat, Kate, Y/N, Jules, Yelena, Clint, each and every one of them cared about her.  And she cared about them too.

Slowly the brunette began to come out of that bubble, feeling less hurt and finally accepting the loss to begin to heal.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ Unlike Wanda, the one who was beginning to have serious trouble was Y/N, whose confusion and guilt was slowly devouring her from the inside.

How could she have a friendship with someone she had to betray sooner or later? How many times had Abaddon say that she shouldn't come near Wanda?

Thousands of times in thousands of years Y/N ran away from this type of relationship and now, as if it was like magic, Wanda made her feel so… comfortable. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ

Wanda made her smile genuinely. Wanda made her try harder, Wanda worried her. Wanda. Wanda. Wanda. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ  It was disgusting!

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ Now she not only had to deal with lying to Abaddon, saying that the Sokovian was getting closer and closer to breaking down, but she had to lie to Wanda who was beginning to blindly trust her. Just like the other Avengers, who already trusted her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ Steve did it, the man was honest and always repeated that Y/N was a great agent. Bucky said the same thing, maybe he was closer to Y/N than Steve.  He was trying to make amends for his past too, so he understood how to trust but also how to understand other people's mistakes. Natasha and Yelena trusted her enough to have her as their right hand on missions. Kate seemed to be glued all day to Jules, looking like two dumb twins separated at birth.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ Everything was starting to get too personal and that tormented Y/N.

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“Good! But you have to improve more in your defense, okay?” Natasha said as she took Jules hand, helping  get up from the mat.The brunette smiled and just nodded quickly and walked over to Y/N, who was looking at her in confusion. Totally surprised that Natasha was the winner.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ “Did you let her win? There's no way she could beat you that way.” Y/N whispered, looking at Jules who was still blushing and smiling.  How was it possible for a demon to be defeated by a simple powerless agent?

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ Jules smiled mischievously and wiped the sweat with a towel. “Dude, I had Natasha Romanoff top on me for a few seconds, that's enough gain. I don’t mind losing.” ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Y/N's face said it all.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Maybe it wasn't just her who was getting too involved in all of this. Jules seemed to quickly get used to them, to… being an agent.  Just a ‘human being’.

How could Stolas forget where she came from? She was an ancient demon, respected as a Prince of Hell.  Demon Prince of the Day.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ Now she let herself be beaten and rubbed by a simple human.

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The bile rose as high as the anger, perhaps because she was projecting her own frustrations and fears onto Jules. But those thoughts disappeared when the Russian caught their attention again.

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“Wanda and Y/N.”  Nat pointed at them. “Let's see what you have.” ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ

Sighing, Y/N watched as Wanda nodded and stood on the mat. The demon did the same, perhaps a little embarrassed knowing that she was going to defeat Wanda in the blink of an eye.

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“Come on, go first.” Y/N said perhaps too smug, as if she were doing the girl a favor. The demon threw a punch into the air so slowly that she knew Wanda could easily dodge it, but instead of dodging it, the Sokovian grabbed her arm, forcing Y/N to fall to the ground hard.

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Y/N stood up from the mat and looked at her in surprise.

She tried to go for her one more time but Wanda made her fall again, not just once but twice more. She wasn't even using her powers.

In the third time, the Sokovian ended up sitting on her belly preventing Y/N from moving in a key aikido technique.

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“I’m sorry.” Wanda asked worriedly, blushing quite a bit as she brushed a strand of hair out of her face.  “Are you okay?”

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“I-I’m fine. Yeah.” Surprised, agitated and a little blushing too, Y/N nodded trying to catch her breath. Noticing the position they were in, Wanda quickly stood up.

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“That was great, Wanda!” Natasha clapped her hands proudly, quite surprised that the Sokovian finally fought back. 

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Somewhat embarrassed, Y/N walked away towards Jules who was waiting for her with a bottle of water and a towel.

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“You let her win too?” Jules asked curiously but Y/N just threw the towel at her face.

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“Shut up!” Y/N growled and walked away from the gym so she could clear her head. Of course Wanda noticed Y/N's annoyance but she didn't say anything. Perhaps she blamed the agent’s damaged ego.

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After about two or three  hours running around the lake, Y/N decided to come back and take a long shower. All afternoon trying to think of something else, but Wanda seemed to remain, like a curse, not letting her go.

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The demon tried to avoid the places where the sokovian usually was, she finally entered her room and leaned against the door, sighing.

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“Are you OK? I've noticed that you're a little upset.” Jules' voice made her jump.

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The brunette was in bed, with a towel on her head, watching some kind of animated series and eating some chips.

It was pretty funny, and Y/N would laugh all night if she weren't so upset.

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Frowning, she asked herself what could be worse? She had to talk to someone to understand what was happening, right? Couldn't tell anyone that she was a demon, feeling confused about a girl. Talking to Stolas was better than nothing.

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“Yeah… it’s just… Can we talk?” Y/N licked her lips and sat on the bed, next to Jules.

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“Sure, about what?”  The dark haired girl sat down, leaving the chips aside so Y/N could take some.

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Taking a moment to think through her words, Y/N fixed her gaze on her friend's brown eyes. “What are you doing? I mean, what are we doing here?” 

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What was she doing in this place? Making friends, eating, doing missions to save people.

She had been making the work of people like the Avengers worse for millennia, and now she was working for them. And she did it gladly.

She was watching Wanda’s back when she hated that girl her entire life, having to 'protect' her, now Y/N was beginning to feel affection for Wanda even though she always avoided it.

Everything was so confusing!

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Of course that's what she meant, but Jules simply smiled tenderly and pointed to her Stark tablet.

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“What am I doing? I'm watching this thing… I’m really into this anime called 'Demon Slayer'. It’s so good! Do you wanna watch it with me?”

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Oh, awfully innocent. Silence. A tense silence formed between them.

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Blinking in complete shock, Y/N stared at the brunette trying to understand if it was a joke. She was trying to talk about something important and Stolas was just... talking about watching TV.

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“I don't mean that… Wait, you’re watching this… ‘anime’ about how they hunt demons… And you are a demon?” Y/N narrowed her eyes trying to understand it, and of course trying not to sound sarcastic. Seeing how Jules nodded excitedly, Y/N just shook her head. “You’re really something…”

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“Oh! Thank you.” Jules smiled proudly, thinking it was a real compliment.

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She couldn't even tell the difference between damn sarcasm, Y/N just got even angrier.

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“Ugh, I can’t talk to you!”  Y/N exclaimed in annoyance and stood up to leave the room, leaving her friend confused, but Jules just shrugged.

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Walking with some haste and enough annoyance to make many agents walk away when they saw her, Y/N arrived at the dining room where she saw Kate Bishop sitting in front of the window enjoying a pizza with her dog, Lucky.

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“Bishop!” Y/N exclaimed loudly, pointing at her. “I have to talk to you!” 

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Sitting in front of Kate, the demon surprised the archer who opened her eyes wide, stammering. “Umh, I thought you hated me but okay!”

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“We need to talk.” Y/N sighed. “You look like an irresponsible child who takes risks and puts yourself in danger, but trustworthy enough to hear what I have to say.”

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“Wow… Okay! Sharp but sincere, tell me what you want to talk about.” Kate looked at her curiously, inviting her to have a slice of pizza but Y/N shook her head.

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Lucky watched the demon for a long time, as if he knew she was up to no good, but never attacked or growled at her. Maybe because she hadn't done anything wrong yet, but even so, he remained alert.

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 “I've been feeling... strange.”  Y/N started a little awkwardly, she cleared her throat without knowing how to express herself very well.

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“Like what…?” The archer narrowed her eyes, Lucky decided to go to sleep on the couch, leaving them alone.

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“About Wanda…” Y/N gulped, a little nervously.  “I've been feeling different when I’m with her. I wanted to talk to Jules about it but she's not... she's not THE person... she's not even a person most of the time.” She complained, pinching the bridge of her nose.

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“Wanda? Oh!” Kate's eyes widened, realizing what it was all about.  “About love, well I'm not an expert...”

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“It's not about love, of course not!” The demon cut her off, shaking her head. How could it be about love? Maybe this girl perhaps wasn't as insightful as she seemed. Maybe she should have talked to Barnes.

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“What do you feel specifically?” The brunette asked as she drank some soda, noting that it was the first time she had seen Y/N so nervous and worried. The woman always seemed so tough and badass.  “Without you looking at me as if you wanted to kill me with your gaze.”

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Frowning, Y/N thought about getting up and leaving but little by little that hard and serious expression began to relax. Kate was just trying to help her.

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“Today, when we spar together, she made me fall… And at first I felt so angry. Ugh!” She clenched her jaw, couldn't believe it. Just remembering it made her blood boil.  “I mean, no one has ever brought me down in my life. And it is a very long life, Kate!”

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She stood up from her seat, slamming the table and making Kate jump.

The archer didn't say anything, just watched as Y/N paced back and forth like a caged beast.

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“But she managed to make me stumble and fall easily, that made me feel so upset.” Y/N shook her head.  “But then that went away fast and I felt so proud… then I felt worried. So many feelings! How can you get them all at once?!”

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She stared out the glass window. The colors in the sky were fascinating and disturbing.

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“I could have hurt her.” Y/N murmured worriedly. She finally blurted out what was really worrying her.

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Kate sighed. “But you didn’t.”

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“But I could.” Suddenly Y/N turned to see Kate, who was looking at her with some tenderness. Why was the archer looking at her with that tender look?

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“She’s enhanced.”  Kate tried to calm her down and make her understand, not realizing there was something deeper going on.

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“And I am-…” Y/N was going to keep going but stopped. A demon.

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She was a demon, she was much more powerful, but Kate couldn't know that. How could Y/N be so stupid to almost let it out?   “A simple agent, I know.”

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Y/N looked down.

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“I didn't mean that.” Kate quickly apologized, embarrassed. She didn't want to break the progress she finally had with Y/N.

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“I know.”  Y/N she sighed deeply, sitting back down. “But I worry… and that’s the deal, I never worry about anyone. She's my friend, but I don't feel like... a friend.”

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Kate was about to say something and paused for a few seconds, wondering if it was the right thing to say, but Y/N sought her out because of her sincerity, she had to honor that.

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“Maybe you're falling in love... What's wrong with that?”  The archer shrugged, noticing how Y/N opened her eyes so wide that she thought they would pop out of their place.

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“You don't get it, can’t be ‘love’. That's not possible!” The demon exclaimed in fear. That would be the worst thing that could happen to her.

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“Why not?” Kate looked at her confused. “It's not bad to feel love for someone. Are you homophobic or something?”

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Those words made Y/N laugh so bad and so real that Kate was even more surprised. How could she be homophobic? She was a demon! She had always been with women, she had always preferred them but not to love.

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“Of course not!” Y/N quickly defended herself.  “I love women, I just…”

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Y/N swallowed, noticing how Kate was waiting to hear more.

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“I just… can’t.” Y/N mumbled. “I didn't think I could be capable. That's going against everything I know, It's dangerous… you don't understand. It's not like you and Yelena. I wasn't made for this.”

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After that, both of them were silent for a moment. Kate considered it necessary because Y/N seemed quite shocked at that news.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What am I going to do now?” Y/N whispered to herself. “If I am in love with her…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You should tell her.” Kate pursed her lips, but when Y/N stood up from her seat she did the same. “Thank you for trusting me with this. I didn't think you liked me…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I do.” Y/N was trying to deal with everything at once. She sighed deeply, trying to focus on Kate.  “I'm not used to being grateful or being close to people.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

‘You're a good person and I'm not, not even a person. I just wanted to use you to go unnoticed.’ She thought.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N gulped, after an awkward silence she was brave enough to break it. “Thank you, Kate.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N extended her hand to shake it with the archer's. Surprised, Kate nodded and shook her hand.  

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Would you like to jog with us? Tomorrow. Jules and I we used to do it, then we'll go get some lunch, maybe pizza.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Kate giggled, but was grateful for the invitation. “Is that healthy?” 

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Does it matter?” Finally Y/N smiled and shrugged, for the first time she was genuine with her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, I- I'd like to.” Feeling endless emotions, Kate recognized that she felt happy and excited to share something with 'new friends' like Y/N and Jules. She didn't know anyone but her girlfriend Yelena in that place, and Clint was always with his family. It was normal for the archer to feel alone.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Y/N nodded and turned to leave, now she needed some time to think about everything.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Once she got far enough away, her face changed from a happy one to a worried one.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But even though Kate advised her to tell Wanda about those feelings, Y/N decided it was best to walk away.

Her job was to ‘watch’ her and nothing more, she didn't have to interfere in the sokovian’s life and change everything. Why didn't she listen to Abaddon?

ㅤㅤㅤ

The demon complained over and over again, especially when she felt that strange anguished feeling in her chest when she missed Wanda. Thinking about her or avoiding her was driving Y/N crazy. Is this how humans felt?

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N looked at her watch and then quickened the pace. Didn't have much time if she wanted to get to the gym before Wanda did, maybe she could spar with Jules or Kate before the Sokovian arrived.

But when she turned into the hallway, ended up colliding with a brunette who seemed to be waiting for her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

‘Fuck’ Y/N thought.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Well, she knew that was going to happen at some point, but didn't expect it to be so soon. The woman was evading Wanda for so many days and she was lucky, but she wasn't going to be able to evade her forever.

Y/N stopped attending their dinners, besides not sparring at the same time. Even signed up for more missions just to not see her but she was just there.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.” Wanda whispered, looking up.  She started playing with her rings a little nervously.

ㅤㅤ

“Hey.” Y/N murmured, scratching her neck, thinking of some quick excuse to run away.

ㅤㅤ

“Are you going to spar?” Wanda asked just to make some small talk, since the moment seemed pretty awkward. Y/N was going to answer but Wanda stopped her:  “I haven't seen you for some nights. I feel like you're avoiding me.”

ㅤㅤ

‘Tell her the truth, don't gaslight her.’

ㅤㅤ

“Did I do something to upset you, Y/N?” The sokovian gulped at Y/N's guilty silence.  “Have I done something wrong?”

ㅤㅤ

But Y/N stayed quiet, not knowing what to say or do.

ㅤㅤ

‘Say something, say it’s not true!’ Y/N thought.

ㅤㅤ

“No, Wanda, of course not.” Her lips began to move but she couldn't say anything coherent.  She had never felt so uncomfortable and sad. “It’s just…”

ㅤㅤ

‘It's just that I'm made to make you suffer.’ She thought again.

ㅤㅤ

Smiling sadly, Wanda just looked down. “I’m boring, right?” 

ㅤㅤ

‘Oh, don't be such an idiot to make her believe that!’

ㅤㅤ

“What? No! Of course not!” Y/N exclaimed quickly, begging for Wanda to believe her, to look up and see her eyes to notice that she was telling the truth. “It's not your fault, Wands, it's actually my fault…”

ㅤㅤ

Without understanding what she meant, Wanda tilted her head.

Y/N just sighed and took Wanda’s hand to lead her to a more intimate place, leaving together to the nearest terrace.

ㅤㅤ

“I just haven't been feeling well lately.” Y/N licked her lips nervously, wondering if it was really a good time to tell the truth.

ㅤㅤ

“What's going on? What is it? I’m worried.” Wanda put her sadness aside to feel worried, even taking a step forward to look into Y/N’s eyes.

ㅤㅤ

“I don't want to make things worse.” Y/N pursed her lips, not knowing how to begin.

ㅤㅤ

‘Too late, you already have since you got involved with her.’

ㅤㅤ

“Please, maybe I can help you.” Wanda tried, taking her hand.

ㅤㅤ

That adorable and simple gesture just made Y/N open her eyes big in surprise. Feeling the warmth of Wanda's fingers intertwined with hers, it was so new, overwhelming and welcoming. A gesture so gentle, she could have sworn her eyes watered.

ㅤㅤ

“I’ve been feeling a little different around you.” The demon finally opened up, leaving her ‘head’ aside and speaking from 'the heart'. One that she never had, one that had been dry for so long but apparently was beginning to beat.  

ㅤㅤ

Wanda frowned, still not understanding.

ㅤㅤ

“Wanda… I think… I like you, a little. I do… like you.” Y/N whispered. Despite her babbling, it felt so much better to be able to let go. “And that is causing this big confusion inside me.”

ㅤㅤ

The demon looked for some answer in Wanda's eyes, trying to see if she was angry, or if maybe if she reciprocated those feelings.

Maybe expecting the witch to smile and say something cute but Wanda just opened those huge eyes, surprised.

ㅤㅤ

“Oh.”  That was all that left Wanda’s lips.  Y/N wasn't ready to hear what was next.

ㅤㅤ

“I thought we were just friends.” Wanda finished not only those words, but also the demon's dry heart.

ㅤㅤ

Quiet and sorrowful, Y/N didn't know how to proceed. Her head was beginning to scream so loud; escape, scream at her, kill her, run away, say everything is fine.

ㅤㅤ

“You didn't… You don't feel the same.” Y/N frowned at her in confusion, feeling like a complete idiot. “I thought that-”

ㅤㅤ

Wanda's look so embarrassed only caused Y/N's heart to be engulfed by a huge invisible awful beast.

ㅤㅤ

She didn't say anything, just looked down at those rings. Y/N could hear her heart racing, possibly because of the shame the witch felt.

ㅤㅤ

How could she have confused everything? Fucking Kate! She said that-

ㅤㅤ

No, she didn't say anything. It was all coming from Y/N's head. It was all Y/N’s own fault, and it weighed heavily on her chest. Anguish was beginning to close her throat, never felt so stupid.

ㅤㅤ

The demon broke something so important to both of them, without even meaning to.  Anyway, she was meant to hurt her, right?

ㅤㅤ

“Okay. This is awkward.” Y/N laughed wryly, shaking her head. She took a few steps back, not even able to see Wanda.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Wanda, who seemed totally shocked and surprised. Who didn't know how to react to such a confession, much less from someone she considered a friend. Y/N dared to break their bond, one that was not easy to build.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“I-I'm sorry, I-. I have to go.” Wanda murmured nervously and turned to leave quickly, without even hearing the last words of who she considered her friend.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Yeah, sure.” 

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

The demon stood there, simply staring into nothingness. So many mixed feelings, that she didn't even know which one to follow.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Get angry. Go get her. Burn it all down. Don’t let her go. Tell her you care. Kill them all.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Any other time, you would have done it, you would have killed everyone. But Y/N just sighed and decided to go back to her room.

ㅤㅤ

“So, how is she doing?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ Abaddon's voice brought Y/N back to her senses.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

They both walked through the red and warm soil of that place, a beautiful as well as dangerous place. Tanzania was an amazing, beautiful, wild place.

Sometimes it was nice to have those powers, to be able to appear wherever you want. Only the fallen could use them as they pleased, of course. Wings weren't for everyone.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Abaddon invited Y/N to follow her, she was wearing the outfit of a Serengeti National Park worker, possibly stolen from what must now be a corpse.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

 “Our lucky girl. I've seen some videos on the internet about her, she’s powerful, not as much as I expected but that's good.” The redhead sighed as she searched for something in the grass.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“She’s okay.” Y/N sighed watching the sunset in that reserve, she had never seen a sunset like that. This world kept surprising her in incredible ways.  “I mean, she's grieving her loss but nothing-”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

The sound of birds flapping their wings made Y/N blink, now showing her demon eyes.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“...that indicates it's time.” Abaddon cut her off, turning to look at her. Her eyes stopped being blue and turned an angry red, dangerous and deadly. Like those of the black mamba that watched them furiously from a rock. “I've heard you say it before,  I'm tired of that excuse. You have to make sure she suffers!” 

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Y/N swallowed.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

As the sun set, the warmth of the place faded and the cold began to be felt, which neither of them was affected by.

The crickets stopped, as if they knew a more dangerous predator was nearby.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Why are we here?” Y/N tried to avoid that talk, looking around.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Every twenty-three years I like to visit this place. I like to spill some blood.” Abaddon smiled in a creepy way, walking straight towards the Black Mamba who looked furious. “A little chat with a warlord, a little of this, a little of that… I'm not the Horseman of War but I like to make trouble.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

The snake positioned itself ready to attack but the demon was faster, grabbing its neck tightly. The black mamba opened her mouth, trying to free itself but it was impossible. It was next to another more powerful predator, a much more cruel and vengeful one.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“But I also like to make certain friends like this one, then I visit some people… we play a bit. I love wicked games.”  She hissed naughtily.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Y/N pursed her lips when she heard that.

She knew that Abbadon was much more perverse and evil, possibly what she would do with that snake was much darker than she imagined.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“So, Leviathan, I need you to do your job and MAKE HER SUFFER! Kill her best friend, kill her fucking dog, get rid of everything Maximoff loves!”  Abaddon screamed and squeezed the snake so hard that Y/N was afraid she would kill it. But Y/N knew that the redhead was doing it on purpose. Y/N was a snake, she knew how much she respected them. It was a clear offense and if ‘Leviathan’ reacted, everything would get worse. 

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Maybe another demon would ‘take care’ of Wanda, and make even more chaos.

Through clenched teeth, the higher demon hissed: “I want to see her desolate and collapsed!”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Don’t say anything. Don't react. Don't think about the snake.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“I will.” barely said with a thin voice.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Good girl!” Abaddon smiled and finally released the snake, letting it go. That black mamba escaped, sliding quickly through the grass. “The girl is a caterpillar under our shoes, right now of course, but when she finally hatches… she will break free like a butterfly. A very powerful, hurt and naive one… one that we can manipulate.” 

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Y/N nodded, like a good soldier. “And that's when our victory will be guaranteed.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Pleased to see that Y/N understood, the redhead tilted her head to play with her a little.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“We never told you but we found the book thanks to you, so many years ago. Thanks to you we found the Darkhold.” Abaddon narrowed her eyes. “It was buried in the darkest depths of this Earth, much deeper than the Mariana Trench. And you brought us that information thirty years ago...”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Oh no. It couldn't be true. That couldn't mean anything more than… everything that would happen from now on was her fault, everything they decided to do with Wanda… It was thanks to her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Without you... she couldn't have that destiny. You‘re her savior and her executioner.” Abaddon finished clicking her tongue.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

The best Y/N could do was smile, trying to look proud but terror could be seen in her eyes even though she didn't want to. She had to think of something, she had to pick a side.

Well, Wanda rejected her. Maybe thinking about it the decision could be easier, thinking about the anger she felt and the frustration of being rejected as a simple vermin.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Be sure to let me know if there are any changes. Chton is very pleased with your work.” She slowly approached Y/N, watching her a bit flirtatiously but only squeezed her cheek, as if she were a wild child.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

She was just humiliating the snake, once again.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Can I really know what you need her for?” Y/N asked in a low voice, hoping the redhead wouldn't take her question the wrong way. Abaddon was too explosive, she could take a simple question the wrong way.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

The stinging silence and sharp gaze from the knight of Hell made Y/N shift uncomfortably. Seconds in which the demon thought it could end badly, until Abaddon spoke.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“The Scarlet Witch will be in charge of destroying all our enemies, unleashing her chaos magic... finally freeing Chton and tying this entire world and every reality to her whim. Not just one world, but all of them will be ours.”  The demon's eyes lit up just thinking about it. A glorious plan for their entire species that would eventually dominate not just one but all realities.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Although a genuine smile was born on Y/N's lips just thinking about it, she couldn't deny that her instincts were still there, she was a chaos demon and always would be.  But slowly that smile faded as she thought about how awful that could be for humans. Or rather, for those she considered worthy of saving.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Suddenly in her mind came the image of Natasha, Kate, Yelena and everyone she considered 'good'.

Where would they go? What would happen to them?

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Gulping, Y/N felt guilty.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Do you think they will allow it?” She looked up for a moment, referring to the tenth realm. Angels.  “They are warriors trained to stop that, they will come for her first if they find out. They wouldn't let anything happen to humans, now they have help from other realms, like Asgard. They act stupid with big threats but this is… much bigger.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“I wouldn't worry about that.” Abaddon arched an eyebrow. “We have someone inside, they're busy with something else. They are waiting for the moment, it is inevitable. It’s them or us, and the truth is that they don't care in the least about all these monkeys. Gods would sacrifice this world without hesitation to save others.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Both began to walk together through the grass, Y/N couldn't believe what she heard. Everything was ready and at the same time no one had any idea what was happening around them.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“So this Earth-” Y/N sighed, looking around, thinking how beautiful and dangerous that night was and could disappear someday. The animals that sought refuge in the night, and the macabre and charming laughter of the hyenas. 

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Will be doomed, like the rest.” The red eyed demon nodded.  “You see, all these heroes like 'avengers vs villains' efforts… it's just halftime at the Superbowl. They're just wasting their time, they're all doomed from the moment the Earth started spinning around.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

The redhead looked at a bonfire in the distance, happy to finally get to where she needed to be.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“I see.” Y/N murmured, stopping and watching as Abaddon kept walking.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“You are one of the few who knows.” Abaddon turned to look at her, this time it wasn't just a threat. “Don't let him down.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

The demon didn't say anything other than nod her head, watching as the redhead walked away slowly.

A few minutes later, Y/N heard in the distance screams of pain and terror as well as gunshots. Several people were screaming in horror, some begging for mercy and others simply dying with honor.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Sighing, Y/N disappeared from that place to appear on the outskirts of the Compound. Perhaps the best thing that could have happened to her is that Wanda walked away from her, but it had to be so painful?

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“What? You like Wanda?!” Surprised, Jules was still at her side carrying some bags as they walked towards the hangar. The mission before them did not seem to be easy at all, but there was nothing better than a good deadly mission to forget about everything.  “You told her that you liked her and she did what?!” 

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Smacking Jules on the back of the head, Y/N glared at her in a deadly way to make her shut up. Although it was understandable, the brunette couldn't even begin to comprehend the magnitude of it all.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Yes. Don't say anything, I have enough with myself.” Y/N muttered, quite annoyed, could see on her face that she hadn't rested well, especially after everything Abaddon said.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Now she was forced to make Wanda suffer, even if it hurt her deeply.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“I'm going to kill the bitch.” Jules grunted, dropping the bags into the quinjet.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“You can’t do that.”  Y/N wrinkled her nose.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“I can't do that but I would if it made you feel better.”  The brunette demon pouted a little and then shrugged. Y/N smiled slightly, felt some tenderness that Stolas tried to 'defend' her. She left her bag on the quinjet, heading back out of the plane.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“And then Abaddon asked you to hurt her deeply.” She sighed, noticing the worry on Y/N's face. “Well, at least your job will be less difficult now.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Y/N snorted. “You think?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Jules sighed, despite her evil nature, she had to be honest with her. “No, I think it will be worse, and I don't even know why.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

None of them could say anything more than accept the harsh reality, they were made for that. It was their mission, although they began to doubt in silence. But a voice out of nowhere  made them both turn around quickly, surprised to see that person in front of them.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Hi.” Wanda said with a small awkward smile as she played with her fingers. For days Wanda had been completely avoiding Y/N and now she was just there. “Can we talk?” 

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Hey.” Y/N frowned so confused.  Those big green eyes left her speechless, Wanda looked like an adorable puppy.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Oh! yeah! I remembered that I have to find Kate for... something… can’t remember what… bye!” Smiling widely, Jules quickly left, leaving them alone.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

The awkward silence and nervous glances reigned for a few seconds until one of the two was brave enough to end it.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“I'm sorry.” Y/N began, sighing heavily. The demon just  looked around, noticing that Nat was approaching the Quinjet but after seeing them, she decided to quickly walk away, meeting Jules and taking her hand to leave the place.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Y/N thought of a million things to say, telling her that she didn't even want to see her anymore,  thought of telling Wanda that she had never cared about her anyway.

But she decided to speak with what she least expected. Her old, inexperienced heart. 

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“I shouldn't have gone further, I shouldn't have broken our friendship. I know what it meant to you, because it meant something important to me too.” Swallowing, Y/N felt an enormous weight leave her body and that was being able to tell the truth. Felt incredibly liberating.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“To be honest? I don't know what I'm doing.”  They both began to walk together, away from the hangar. The smell of the freshly cut grass and the beautiful sunset on the horizon was enchanting. The sun and the moon so near and so far; like that little bit of light sinking into the darkness of the night.  “I've never felt like this.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Wanda didn't say anything, just watched her thoughtfully, allowing Y/N to express herself first.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, Wanda, it's the first time it happened to me.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

That made the sokovian frown curiously, looking at her gaze to see the truth. Oh, she wished she could read Y/N’s mind right now but she was also grateful she couldn't.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Have you never been attracted to anyone?” The brunette asked, that thick sokovian accent showing through, making it more charming. Making the demon fall in love a little more.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“No.” Y/N answered honestly, one of the few times in her life admitting something so important. Something impossible. “Never.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Unable to believe it, a small smile tried to form at the corner of those lips. “Why me?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“I wish I knew that.” Smiling tenderly, Y/N put her hands in the pockets of the jacket. “I mean, I know why. I just don't know... why it's my first time, I know very well why it's you... You’re the one.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Her heart beat so hard in that confusion, was she doing the right thing? After everything Abaddon said, wasn't it better to let her go?

She couldn't even think anymore after Wanda broke the distance between them and cupped Y/N’s face, ending every doubt, finally kissing those lips that generated so much expectation.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Enjoying those soft lips, Y/N closed her eyes not believing what she was experiencing. As if her brain sent a blow to her entire body, her arms quickly wrapped around Wanda’s waist to pull her against her body.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Their first kiss, their first kiss leaving the pain behind and experiencing love for the first time.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

After a few seconds and the need for air, they both slowly separated without still being able to believe it. Y/N couldn't help but smile widely especially when she saw Wanda all blushing and smiling. Just two silly giggling girls.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“I like you too.” Wanda said after gaining some courage, what did it matter? She had to finally leave the pain and fear behind. All those doubts in her head disappeared when she saw Y/N's sincere look.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“I'm sorry I ran away like that, it's just…” The brunette sighed, trying to be honest with her and finally explain. “Everything is so hard after losing Pietro. I couldn't afford any more suffering.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Oh darling, if you only knew.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Y/N gulped at those words.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“I don't want to lose anyone else. Everyone around me… dies.” The Sokovian looked down, feeling deep sadness as she realized that tragedy always surrounded her life like a wild animal. In some way or another, she never managed to be happy until she arrived at the Compound. “It terrified me to think that if we had a stronger bond, I could lose you. I’m cursed.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“You won't.” Y/N said quickly, reaching out to cradle Wanda's face in her hands and gently caress her cheek. Her gaze fixed on those green eyes, letting herself be carried away by passion. “I'll do everything I can to make sure you don't.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

The demon knew that those words were going to cost her so much, that was a very difficult and impossible promise to keep but the feeling was much deeper. She didn't know what was possessing her at that moment, something she couldn't control.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

With a hopeful look and smile, the witch felt her heart skip a beat at that oath. She was ready to let herself go with whatever they had. Whether momentary passion or real love, she didn't care. She just wanted to live again.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Maybe we could…” Wanda bit her bottom lip, looking up at her. The height difference between the two was charming. “I don't know… try?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Y/N's lips moved, about to give her an answer to that but Natasha's voice interrupted them as she approached carrying some bags. Next to her was Jules, smiling knowingly.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“It's time to goooo! ” Nat exclaimed, walking over to the Quinjet. “Move, lovebirds!”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Sighing, Y/N cursed the bad timing they were in right now. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“We'll talk when I get back, okay? Can you wait for me?” Y/N turned her gaze to Wanda, seemed a little sad to see the demon leave, but knew perfectly well that it was necessary. The Sokovian nodded, eagerly waiting for the moment to see her again.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“Sure.” Wanda looked down shily, watching as Jules watched them smiling like a fangirl, some agents passed by her. Overcoming her fear, she dared to take Y/N's hand and intertwine their fingers for a few seconds. “Take care, Y/N.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Biting her lip for a moment, Y/N took the opportunity to get lost in those beautiful eyes before leaning down to kiss Wanda's lips once more.

This time it was a short and more chaste kiss, but definitely hopeful. 

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“See you later, Wands.” The 'agent' whispered before leaning down to pick up her bag and walk towards the Quinjet while being watched by the witch, who prayed with all her heart that the time to see each other again would be soon.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

She entered the plane and found her seat next to Jules, who pursed her lips tightly to keep from smiling, especially when Y/N looked at her with a deadly 'if you say anything I'll kill you' look.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

About twenty seconds passed until the brunette couldn't take it anymore. She quickly turned to look at Y/N, who closed her eyes and sighed knowing what was coming.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“She kissed you.” Jules wiggled her eyebrows excitedly. “Your heart is pounding even now, I can feel hers from a distance. She's into you!”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Turning to look at her, Y/N didn't say anything. Despite the seriousness of her face, she just leaned back on her seat.  “It felt like I was back in heaven again.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Surprised, Jules opened her eyes wide. She couldn't believe what she heard. “What?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“It felt like that…” Y/N swallowed, somewhat worried, somewhat happy, somewhat confused.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

She touched her lips, caressing it gently as if she wanted to feel that feeling again. “It felt like I was in heaven again, remember? When I was happy there.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Unable to believe what she was saying or feeling, Y/N looked at Jules with a confidence never seen before in her gaze. “We need to think about what to do. There's no going back.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“We'll see what to do.” Nodding quickly, Jules leaned back in her seat as well. Staying somewhat thoughtful.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

“I’m doomed.” But Y/N's gaze was lost in a fixed point on that plane, while the rest of the agents took their places, she couldn't stop thinking about those green eyes that now gave life to her heart.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

And then she smiled.

here goes some amazing and lovely people tags   ✨  :  @wandanatfan @get-the-fuck-outta-here @idontknow-llol

Thank you so much for reading me! ✨ Really means a lot. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'm starting the next one.

If you want me to tag you in the next chapters, just comment and I will. Thank you very much for reading me, honeybee! It means a lot! 🐝 ㅤㅤㅤㅤ Do you want to help me? Wow, that's adorable and means a lot. You can buy me a coffee here!

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️

📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸

🔍🔍🔍🔍🔍🔍🔍🔍🔍🔍🔍🔍🔍🔍🔍

I'm OBSESSED with these

THANK YOU!

45 for ☣️

---

 Chim wasn’t going to adjust to having his life back overnight. He had, and still has, a shit ton of trauma to work through. Buck knew the kids’ routines, and was a good extra set of hands to have around. 

But now, things are on the up. Chim is improving. Maddie is starting to talk again, slowly but surely. They’re going to be able to get by without him there all the time just fine. Not that he won’t be around, of course. He’s still volunteered himself, for whenever they need him. He’s still just only a text or a phone call away.

And, he’s really only a few neighborhoods over. He’s not going far. He’s going right back to Eddie’s. 

Everyone seems to agree this is the best move. Well, everyone with one exception.

“Please don’t go,” Jee sobs in Maddie and Chim’s front entryway after Buck carries his final bag to his new vehicle. A pickup truck. Go figure. He’s absolutely certain he’ll wind up cramming himself in the Prius because Eddie will take the truck everywhere. 

“Sweetie, I’m going to see you every single week. I promise,” Buck says. “I’m not going far.”

“You could just stay,” Jee cries. 

Chim, standing nearby, bends to pick her up. 

“Hey, kiddo,” he says. “Your uncle spent a lot of time here taking care of our family, right? Now he needs to go take care of Eddie, because all his brain power was stored in that mustache, and now it’s gone.”

“I hate Eddie,” Jee sobs.

Buck has to work very hard to bite back a laugh. 

“Aw, come on,” Chim says. “No you don’t.”

“I do,” she says, voice shaking from tears. 

“Maybe we’ll just have to set up a sleepover for you real soon,” Buck says. “How does that sound? You and your brother come hang out with Eddie and I? Give Mom and Dad a night just them?”

Jee sniffs, slightly mollified. 

“Fine,” she says. 

“Okay,” Buck chuckles. “We’ll do that, then.”

“Tell your uncle you love him,” Chim says. 

“I love you Uncle Buck,” she mumbles.

Buck leans to press a kiss to her forehead. “I love you, too, Jee. I’ll see you really soon.”

---

45 for 📸

---

Buck swallows. “Right, okay. Basically, I wanted to apologize because… Because I fucked up. I know I did. I made a lot of really bad decisions, one after another, that hurt you. And other people, n-not just you. But you got caught up in me setting my own life on fire. I-I can’t lie and say I regret it, because then I would have Penny. I know you of all people understand that.”

Eddie nods. He does understand. Probably, actually, more than Buck even realizes.

“So, I’m sorry. I’ve done a lot to try to heal from that… That person who was so insecure he did all those things. I should have never put my job or my fears ahead of our friendship. Especially when you really needed a friend.”

Eddie feels like a swinging pendulum of anger and forgiveness. The former, because, how the fuck is it this easy? The latter, because, Jesus, he really needed to hear all that. What else does he need then? If that completely sincere, admittedly good apology isn’t enough, what more does he need? What’s fair? 

Maybe he just needs to say his piece. He hasn’t been able to, has he? That need, and trying to bury it, almost lost him his son once. In a different scenario. A very different scenario. He doesn’t know why he keeps comparing them in his mind. 

Eddie takes a deep breath. 

“Thank you,” he says. “For apologizing.”

Buck nods. “Yeah…”

“Why’d it take six years?” Eddie finds himself asking. 

Buck’s eyes widen. “Uh, what?”

“I never blocked your number, Buck,” Eddie says. 

“Right,” Buck says quietly. “Right, yeah… You’re right. You’re… I should have reached out a long time ago. I was too embarrassed.”

---

Not quite 45 for 🔍 because it's the end of the chapter:

---

One only you would pay. 

Only me? Buck asks. 

Only you. And then everyone you love would have what they need. Guaranteed. No tricks.

No tricks? Buck asks dubiously.

None. What you agree to is what you get. 

And what would I have to agree to? Buck asks. To save Bobby and make sure everyone else is okay, too? What’s the agreement? 

A curse, the voice says. 

A curse? Buck asks, certain he’s misheard. 

You would agree to be cursed. A curse upon your life, in exchange for everything you want for everyone else.

---

[fantasyheroine]

Written in the Stars - Chapter 3

Pairings: Astarion x Tav

Rating: Explicit

Summary: For months Astarion and Tav have been growing closer and both of them would consider the other a good friend at this point. But is friendship really what either of them truly want? One night has the potential to change their relationship forever. Will the two of them be able to overcome the hurdles a new romance throws their way while they navigate the impending threat of the Netherbrain? Or will past trauma's come back to haunt them permanently? Get swept up in this whirlwind of passion, love, and fear as the characters of Baldur's Gate 3 take on the Cult of the Absolute.

Playlist for the fic

Read on AO3

Beta Read By: @thespookypumpkinwitch

Banner Created By: @rahuratna

Tag List: @rahuratna

Previous - Next

Chapter 3: Orders are for Slaves

Word Count: 11,391

Warnings: Lots of dialogue. Heavy angst. Some gruesome imagery. Crack. Gale.

Song: P!nk - Please Don't Leave Me

A/N: I am so sorry that this chapter took 3 weeks to publish! Life got a little crazy there for a bit and I was kept quite busy. I hope that the length and quality of this chapter can make up for its delay. If you haven't been doing so already, I suggest listening to the song before reading the chapter and then directly after. I put a lot of thought and effort into picking the right piece and it serves as both a preview and summary. Anyway enjoy the excessively long chapter!

Tav was left staring after Astarion as he departed the small clearing. Her longbow clattered to the ground as she dropped to her knees on the forest floor. Clenched fists pounded the earth causing little pieces of dry, brown dirt to come flying up around her. *Damn him…! Damn him! Damn him! Damn him!* She wanted to hate him. Wanted to hunt him down and make him feel her pain! She hated the way he had so easily turned her anger into sorrow. Hated the way he had just left her here! Alone…! Confused…! Heartbroken… Nothing made sense anymore… What was she supposed to do…? Familiar feelings came creeping back into her mind and she considered them. It would be easy. She could let herself slip back into old habits. She knew how to keep them concealed. No one would be any the wiser. *No Tav! You've come this far. You don't have to do that anymore.* Her copper ponytail shook as she tried to clear the thoughts from her mind. *Come on. Pick yourself up. You can do it.* Tav pushed her palms further into the dirt. *Feel the earth around you. What can you hear? What can you smell?* The forest held the scent of ash but the air itself smelt like lavender. The tell tale signs of wild magic crackled like electricity. Little pops could be heard on the wind as Thaniel worked at healing the lands. If there had been any hairs on her arms, they would have been standing up as the weave sent jolts down her spine. Far above the trees, the cry of a falcon echoed. With a jerk of her chin, Tav’s head lifted up in surprise.

“Fenrir!”

An armored arm lifted to the sky and the fearsome bird dived. Its descent was fast. The kind of speed one would expect to see from the quickest bird of prey. The speckled creature’s talons extended as it approached, landing on the proffered perch. The bracers donned atop her scale mail kept sandy skin protected from the sharp points now firmly planted into the leather as the falcon assumed position on the raised appendage. Tav’s hand reached up to the raptor’s head giving the blueish-black feathers a little scratch. A quick chirp was given in greeting before the avian leaned into her touch. Continuing to comb through its feathers she spoke, using the language of animals.

“You're a good boy Fenrir. I suppose Ursa sent you to come bring me back to camp?”

Fenrir clicked his tongue in response. Tav’s hand withdrew as she focused on giving him her full attention. Her familiar’s voice was deep and carried the classic accent of Baldurian animals. It had always fascinated her how an animal's voice reflected their place of origin. Fenrir had come from the Cloak Wood forest. She herself had come from the High Forest. And while she had been the one to hatch him and teach him speech, he had still ended up with the inflections of Baldur’s Gate. Black beady eyes gazed at her.

“She is concerned. You have been gone all day.”

Tav sighed. Leave it to her animal companions to be the ones to check up on her first. They had the tendency of being nosy and often missed the subtleties of when she didn’t want to be disturbed. She looked away from her familiar.

“Yeah, I know… I just… had some things I had to work through.”

Blue feathers ruffled as Fenrir’s head tilted to the side in consideration of her words. He had seen his Elf approach the pale one the night before. And while that wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, the distress he’d picked up on the following morning was unusual. His next words were in an attempt to test the waters but also an offer of space for his guardian to speak.

“The fanged Elf consumes your mind often.”

A little chuckle escaped Tav. It seemed Fenrir had her figured out. A leather-clad finger booped his beak.

“You always were the most observant out of all of us.”

In response, the avian playfully nipped at her finger.

“You know as well as I, that it is my nature to notice that which others do not.”

Another shake of her head. He wasn’t wrong. Peach lips curled up into her first true smile of the day.

“I suppose it is. Tell me then, what would you do if your chosen mate did not wish to be with you?”

Fenrir’s tail fanned out behind him in displeasure. The way his eyes narrowed looked like how a person’s brow did when it was furrowed. It had always amused her how expressive animals could be if anyone cared enough to study them.

“He rejected your mating display?”

Picking up on the change in body language immediately, she tried to suppress the rolling of her eyes. *Oh boy. Here we go again.* Fenrir had made it clear through many a conversation that he did not approve of Astarion. She had tried multiple times to convince her feathered friend that the High Elf was the perfect mate for her, but Fenrir always took the stance that she could find a better partner than the rogue. Her smile turned sheepish as she attempted to soothe some of the falcon’s agitation with a noncommittal shrug.

“Kind of…?”

A series of angry beak clicks sounded at that answer and Fenrir fanned his tail wider. One foot lifted off of her arm as his neck stretched up high. Chest feathers puffed up to make the raptor look larger than he originally was.

“I do not understand. You are a most excellent hunter. Why would he reject you?”

He paused, assessing the female in front of him. A sort of knowing look sparked within his glassy orbs.

“Did you make sure to bow to him before displaying your prowess?”

Choking, Tav suppressed her laugh with a clearing of her throat. Of course he would think Elf relationships worked like falcon ones. Fenrir had only been with her for five years after all, and during that time she had never attempted flirting with anybody. It was childish of her to ever think that he would actually understand the dynamics between her and Astarion. Hells! She barely understood them herself. There was no way a young and inexperienced bird would get it. Despite holding back her giggles, she couldn't help the teasing that came out in her tone as she indulged in the silly line of questioning.

“Ah, that must have been what it was. I forgot the bow.”

More beak clicking met her ears and feathers were ruffled once more.

“How many times have we spoken on this, Hatch Mother? Without the bow, he has no way of knowing your intentions are to mate. Do it again. This time, remember the bow. He will not reject you.”

It was growing harder to not laugh. Her falcon was attempting to instruct her on how to win Astarion’s heart. The whole situation was ridiculous. Gods, how she wished it could be as easy as Fenrir was making it seem. If all it took for Astarion to accept her advances was a bow, she would have given him the most elaborate bow in all of history. Hells, she might have even attempted a low curtsy. But it wasn’t even close to that simple. And after the last twenty four hours, the two of them were currently standing on cracking ice. It was difficult to not let her sadness show, but all animals were empaths, and exposing her emotions to her companion would only serve to make him more agitated. Doing her best to keep the hurt out of her voice, she continued the silly conversation. Fenrir had so confidently stated that should she try a second time, with the proper procedure, Astarion would not reject her. The notion was worth asking about, even if he didn’t fully understand Elven courtship.

“And how can you be so sure Astarion will accept me if I try again?”

There was a very real possibility that the avian had picked up on something she hadn’t. At his core, Fenrir was incredibly observant. It’s what made him an excellent predator and familiar. There was every chance that he had noticed something about Astarion that would give indicators that the man liked her back. The animal took a moment to smooth out a misplaced feather before he responded.

“The fool has been performing courtship attempts since the moment we met him, but has been going about them in poor fashion.”

Tav’s previous smile morphed to confusion. What had Fenrir seen that gave him that impression?

“What do you mean? What courtship displays has he been attempting?”

A flash of dark brown was visible in those near black beads of his as Fenrir looked back up at her.

“For one, he constantly preens around you. I once watched him delicately lay every feather on his head piece by piece, for over an hour of time, before he approached you. You did not notice his attempts.”

Astarion had painstakingly arranged his hair just so before engaging with her? She had always thought his messy curls simply existed in such a state of constant perfection. It had never crossed her mind that he did it on purpose. Shit. What else had Fenrir noticed? The raptor seemed to pick up on her unasked question because he offered up another of his observations.

“He dances for you. Granted, it is not a very good dance, but he does try.”

Ok that one had her puzzled. What in the Nine Hells did he mean by dancing?

“Care to elaborate on that one, friend?”

Another series of beak clicking hit her ears and she watched as Fenrir shifted from foot to foot.

“The gestures he makes with his hands when he speaks, and the way he walks. They look like a bad dance. He does it to try and get your attention. The buffoon hasn’t seemed to realize, though, that he always has your attention. Honestly, I do not understand what you see in him, Hatch Mother. He does not seem to be the brightest nor most confident bird.”

That observation was curious too. Astarion had forever maintained this air of flamboyance to him, but it hadn’t occurred to her that maybe he dialed it up a few notches when in her presence. She had always brushed off his dramatics as a part of his personality. Could he be intentionally amping it up to get her attention? *Why would he do that?* Surely he knew that she found him interesting regardless of the flair. It was a fun aspect of interacting with him, of course, but entirely unnecessary. Maybe Fenrir was right and the confidence Astarion so effortlessly portrayed was actually false. She had caught glimpses of his insecurities in the past. Uncertainty if he looked good, doubts surrounding his heroic capabilities. But that had most frequently been when they were still getting to know each other. It was months beyond then, now. She had hoped that he’d feel comfortable enough around her at this point to not have to mask as much… Why did he still feel like he had to perform? Was he still trying to manipulate her? Or maybe… he was doing it in a vie for her attention. There were certainly plenty of people at camp that kept her busy. Even more who demanded her assistance while on the road. They all collectively prevented her from spending time with him. It wouldn’t come as much of a surprise if his displays were out of jealousy. A sort of theatrical way of getting her attention on him and solely him. Her head shook again. She would have to think about all of this later. Right now there was a falcon waiting for her response. She gave Fenrir a joking smile again.

“He would make a pretty lousy falcon wouldn’t he?”

“Yes. His mating displays are abysmal. It is a wonder he ever gained your attention. Most females would not have looked twice at him.”

Instantly, a memory popped into her head. She was talking to Arron, the druid trader from the Emerald Grove. It was right after the fight with the goblins at the gate. The fight where she, Astarion, Gale, and Shadowheart had conveniently stumbled across Aradin and his band trying to regain access into the druidic sanctuary. Their adventuring party had been warily welcomed into the Grove and she had been selling some of the unnecessary things they had come across in the few days since crashing onto the ravaged beach, when her eyes caught a motion behind the Halfling merchant. Her gaze had met Astarion’s as the seller appraised an agate she’d found along the shoreline. He’d given her a sly smirk and a cheeky wink, then slipped the trader’s pouch of gold into his pocket off the table it had been sitting upon. His boldness had made her heart flutter and the deftness in which he had swiped the coin made her want to learn more about him. Where had he learned to do that? And to what extent did his thievery go? Covertly she’d made a glance at the enchanted longbow leaning against the broken stone obelisk where Arron had set up shop before enthusiastically engaging the short man in a barter for a pair of missile snaring gloves.

She had intentionally looked away as her companion took advantage of her skilled distraction and was pleasantly surprised when Astarion had presented her with the ranged weapon that night at camp. She had assumed he would keep it for himself considering he had proficiency in the item as well, but he had revealed it to her with a flourish and some off handed comment about how she had good taste. The unexpected generosity had found her searching beyond the rogue’s blatant good looks and disarming charm. A glance to the side revealed that same longbow laying discarded after her fight with the Vampire earlier in the day. It wasn’t the strongest armament in her arsenal by any means, the enchantment only allowing her to regain spell slots after having dealt a critical shot and she barely used it nowadays, but for some reason she had chosen it today out of her entire collection. Sigh. Just another thing to think about later. A freckled nose turned back to Fenrir. He was watching her with calculating eyes.

“Perhaps I see something in him that you don’t.”

The falcon once again ruffled his feathers, this time turning up his beak in disdain.

“Hmph. I still think him a fool and poor choice.”

A little laugh was released at the statement, her fingers reaching up again to scratch the back of the familiar’s neck.

“I know, buddy. But it’s my choice, and I like him. I suggest you learn to like him too.”

Fenrir did the bird equivalent of rolling his eyes and pecked at her gloved hand. Tav playfully grabbed his beak between her thumb and pointer finger and lightly shook his head from side to side.

“Why don’t you go tell Ursa I’ll be back in a bit. As soon as I have collected all of my arrows I’ll start heading that way.”

Recovering from the good-natured assault, Fenrir lowered his head as his body pitched forward, preparing for flight. After a few test flaps of his wings he began offering Tav a final warning.

“Very well. Do not linger or I shall come find you again.”

Her face wrinkled in amusement as her arm raised back into the sky, giving Fenrir a better position to take off.

“Go. I’ll return before you know it.”

The answer seemed to satisfy him and with a big flap of his strong wings, Fenrir shot up towards the clouds. Tav watched him for a moment as he soared through the air before letting her body slump heavily. Her bird had successfully disrupted the negative thoughts, but now with him gone, she was left to face the aftermath of her fight with Astarion. All around the clearing were scattered arrows that she had fired at him during their faux dance. High up in the trees were more arrows that she had shot in practice before he had snuck up on her. And then there was the arrow she had fired into the brush where he’d been watching her. Ugh. Collecting all of them was going to be a pain. Under normal circumstances she might have just left them lying around and come back for them the next day, but part of her plan for when she returned to camp was to start packing up her things in preparation for the trip to Baldur’s Gate. With more stress in her body than she’d had in days, Tav climbed to her feet.

It took roughly thirty minutes to gather up every stray missile and by the time she was done the sun had well and truly set. Estimating that there was roughly only an hour of light left before the sky turned completely dark, she took in her surroundings. From what she could recall from the morning, it had taken her longer than an hour to find this copse of trees and she still had no idea which direction she had taken to get here. Her copper head lifted to where Fenrir had disappeared. He had come from the west and slightly south of her current position. There was nothing around her currently that she recognized, but maybe if she moved in the trajectory that her familiar had come from something would eventually stick out. It was her best bet. With a dejected heart and dragging feet, the trek back to camp began.

Astarion’s head was spinning as he sauntered away. All of what had just occurred had been completely confusing. Never before had he seen Tav so angry. In the entirety of their time together this was the first instance in which she had gotten truly mad at him. It had frightened him to a new level. That part of his brain still stuck in survival mode after years of torture, had been screaming that she was going to kill him. She could have if she’d wanted to. While Tav may not have ever claimed to be a monster hunter, there was no doubt that she was a deadly huntress of a different kind. The kind that could have shot an arrow straight through his heart before he could even blink. Yes, she could have killed him. And it was a surprise she hadn’t. All the other people he had encountered with that level of anger had either beat him, tortured him, or tried to kill him. Isn’t that what was supposed to happen in situations like these? When he had made a grave error and deserved the consequences that came with it? Why had she shown him mercy? He wondered, then, if he would have killed her, hurt her, should the roles have been reversed… *No.* He didn’t think he could raise a blade to her skin even if she turned into a Mindflayer… The answer as to why, however, continued to elude him. Fangs pricked flesh as he bit his lip, but the sensation went unnoticed. There was something here that he wasn’t grasping. Something that he was failing to understand. Why had she looked more sad than mad? Why did his stomach turn at the thought of harming her? For the life of him he couldn’t figure out what piece it was that he was missing.

As he continued to chew on his bottom lip he racked his brain, trying to hold onto whatever slivers of enlightenment he could grasp. But like silken thread, those potentially eye-opening thoughts slipped through his fingers. Astarion’s huff of frustration broke the connection of fangs in flesh. Why did everything with her have to be so damn confusing!? It was his job to be able to decode people. Understand their motives so he could manipulate them. He was good at it. But then she came into his life and now nothing made sense anymore. All those years of building skills in seduction and perception, tossed to the side, out of reach, when anything concerning her came up. It was truly infuriating. He had wanted his relationship with her to be simple. Sex for protection. She was strong, and he’d been in need of that strength. Getting her to fall for him should have been easy. A basic matter of deceptive romancing that left him in complete control over everything. But she had changed the script. Used lines he wasn’t familiar with, and taken actions that went against all he thought he knew… And now…? They were stuck; her angry, him stumped. There was no playbook he could reference for going forward. No persona he could portray to try and get things back on track. She was resistant to it all. 

So far his life with her went bounds beyond uncharted territory. It was like he was a child again. Experiencing the world for the first time. How many things had she opened his eyes to? How many incorrect notions had she dispelled? His forehead crinkled, a solid crease forming between his brows. It was awful and uncomfortable, and he wished again that things between them could just be easy. Slowly, his mind began drifting to thoughts of ‘what now’. They had fought. Their first ever actual fight in all of the long months spent travelling together. The only kind of fights he’d been in before were those for survival. The kind where it was kill or be killed. He had never experienced a domestic fight. What was supposed to happen when two companions fought? She hadn’t killed him, and he hadn’t killed her. What move would she make next? She could tell him to leave and never come back. Dismiss him from the party for ever daring to defy her. Or worse, she could leave him. Had she gone back to camp the moment he left her standing in that little clearing, packed up her things, and called it quits? Feet faltered. She wouldn’t do that, would she? Just leave him after everything they had been through…? His body started to ache. Each rigid muscle tightening as they begged him to turn around and run back to her. Was she still there? Was she waiting for him…? Or had he lost her forever?

Something cold and wet hit his cheek. It traced the outline of his chiseled face, then dripped off his chin. It made the softest splash as it hit his old, worn shoe. Only the ears of an Elf could have caught the noise. His head turned down and he stared at the damp spot it had made. Then another one fell. It also landed with the tiniest splash. How long had it been since he’d last cried? It had to have occurred somewhere around the same time Cazador had made the last revision to the scars adorning his back. But those tears weren’t like these. Then, they were born from physical pain. Now… They came from agony. He hadn’t felt such anguish since the night he’d dug himself out of his own grave. The night he had become a slave… More cold tears dripped onto his shoes and he dropped to his knees. The entirety of his body shook with the weight of the emotions he was feeling. Tav was going to leave him! One way or another he was going to lose Tav! *Oh Gods!* He was going to have to go the rest of the way to Baldur’s Gate alone. Find a cure for the tadpole alone. Face Cazador ab-so-lutely alone. His face hit the dirt as his body collapsed from under him. Dry earth turned to mud from the sheer amount of liquid pooling from his eyes. He was alone. Again! This was worse than dying. Worse than being turned. Worse than the tadpole in his head. He was going to have to figure things out by himself. Manage on his own like he always had. He might as well go crawling back to his old master. It’s not like that would feel any different than this.

It felt like time was frozen as he lay face down on the ground. It took many long minutes, but eventually he willed himself to stop crying. He didn’t want to think about any of this anymore. If she left, he’d deal with it. If she cast him out, he would deal with it. Carefully, Astarion climbed back to his feet. That little spark of life that had resided inside of him his entire life as a Spawn kept him moving forwards. He would not fail. He would not fall. Not over some insignificant woman. He was a free man now. A free man had endless opportunities. And if he could kill Cazador? Take his master’s place in the Ascension? Well, he could do anything he wanted then. He didn’t need Tav. He was better off without her. She had only been holding him back. Making him weak by forcing him to play hero. He would be fine without her… Wouldn't he?

That feeling in his chest was hurting even more than before. Again, his hand rubbed over the spot where he felt the pain. And again, his palm landed over his undying heart. It was strange; to experience sensation underneath his left pectoral after a lifetime of nothing ever being there. He briefly wondered if the effects of the tadpole had made their way into his body. He wouldn’t put it past the little parasite to start causing more issues. Perhaps these things he was experiencing in his chest were the start of ceremorphosis. He supposed he’d have to ask Halsin to take a look at him when he made it back to camp. That is, if he didn’t turn overnight… Speaking of night, he figured he would have to find a place to settle down. He had decided that he wasn’t going to return until at least morning. There was too big of a possibility that he’d get back and find Tav’s tent packed up and gone. The sight would likely break him again, and he would need time to prepare for the act of indifference he would be forced to perform for the others should his fears be true. However, wandering the healing shadow-cursed lands would do him no good. He needed to find someplace to bed down. Some location where he could think, where he could plan. A safe spot where no one could see him trying to pick up the pieces of his shattered world. 

Eyebrows furrowed as he considered his possibilities. There was always the House of Healing and various other buildings in the destroyed town of Reithwin. But minus the old hospital, all of those places were rotten. His nose wrinkled. He didn’t much fancy the idea of resting among the smell of decaying wood. And the safety of those locations were severely lacking. He would be exposed. So where could he go then? A brief glance at his current surroundings gave him his answer. The towers at Moonrise weren’t too far off. And the structural integrity of the fortress was intact. Plus should any cultists be lingering about, they’d likely not be in the area where their leader had fallen. *The towers it is then.* Shaking off the dirt that had collected on his clothes and wiping away the mud caked on his cheeks, Astarion started to move. His eyes were still wet but he tried not to pay attention to them. He was fine. He was going to be fine. A quick adjustment to the direction in which he had been walking and he was making his way to the towers where mere days ago the party had defeated one of the three leaders of the Absolute.

Tav made it back to camp right as everyone was finishing their dinner. Her stomach growled at the smell of food. She hadn’t eaten all day. Hadn’t even thought to pack a snack before charging out of camp like a Deep Rothé. With drooping shoulders, she approached the blazing fire that was strategically positioned in the center of the temporary home. Gale offered her a hesitant smile when she was within range of his sight. It seemed Karlach had shared a warning about her previous iciness and he was the only one who hadn’t scattered at her reappearance. Doing her best to return the wizard’s smile, she plopped herself into the seat beside him.

“You’re back?”

His tone was cautious. She couldn’t exactly blame him for it either. Gale, despite what he would have people believe, was relatively tenderhearted. Whenever a confrontation broke out in camp he’d casually avoid getting involved unless necessary. She removed the quiver and longbow from the notch on her back and set them to the side of the homemade bench the two of them sat on. Letting out a long, drawn out sigh, she responded.

“Yeah… I’m back.”

Quizzical, dark hazel eyes inspected her. Nothing about her appearance seemed amiss and at the very least she had left camp protected. Tav was suddenly grateful that humans didn’t have dark vision; for she was sure that if they did, her companion would have spotted her puffy cheeks and bloodshot orbs. She tried to change the subject away from the looming questions that clearly sat at the tip of the man’s tongue.

“Is there any dinner left?”

In a feat of luck, her redirection worked; Gale now getting up and making his way towards the cooking pot on the main table set up near the fire. The container was taken over to the cooking irons staked into the ground near a less fire intense portion of the conflagration and hung on one of the various hooks. Summoning a mage hand to begin stirring whatever the receptacle contained, the man took up the seat to her left again.

“You’ll be happy to know that I saved some specifically for you. It wasn’t easy. Lae’zel was particularly ravenous tonight and I had to beat her off with a wooden spoon, but I figured, after your long day in the woods, you’d come back with an empty stomach and an eagerness to consume the first thing put in front of you. If you’re wondering, tonight’s dinner is a fragrant stew comprised of glowcap mushrooms, bluecap mushrooms, peas, and grilled goat. All things we had here at camp. I don’t want you thinking I went and spent our money without your valued input. Besides, we have collected more than enough supplies to last us until we get to the city. I’ll have you know, I took stock today and structured our rations into a finely detailed list. It is organized by food group with the amounts of each item cataloged in the classic tally stick inventory management systematization that is known amongst all shopkeeps. I even added a note to the level of freshness for our provisions through the use of…”

Tav interrupted whatever useless detail he planned to inform her of next. She wasn’t in the right frame of mind today to be invested in Gale’s peculiarities. She just wanted to eat and get on with the group meeting she had planned. In a hearty attempt to put on an air of appreciation, she spoke, not wanting her friend to pick up on the fact that she really didn’t give a damn about his list.

“Thank you Gale. I’m sure your list is very comprehensive.”

Her placating smile barely reached her cheeks and the wizard seemed to pick up on the fact that she was merely attempting to appease him. His smile took on a more apologetic look than his typical cheery one and he started waggling a finger in her direction.

“Right. Food first. I’ll acquiesce, I get carried away sometimes, but we can always go over the list later, so one bowl of stew, seeeeeeeerved promptly.”

He stood from his seat again and gathered up a modestly sized wooden bowl and iron spoon. The mage hand used the serving spoon it was stirring with to scoop up a glob of the stew and dump it into the dinnerware in Gale’s hands. The Human once again returned to her side, offering up the meal.

“Careful, my friend. I should warn you, it is quite hot. Last thing you need today is to be burning your tongue on your supper.”

A soft blow was given to the bowl as Tav gratefully took the stew from her friend. The food smelled fantastic, leading to another growl from her stomach. She supposed their party had been fairly spoiled recently with all of Gale’s elaborate homemade cooking. Most nights everyone was too exhausted after a day full of fighting and adventuring for much effort to be put into dinner. But since winning the battle at Moonrise, the wizard had been going all out on what he prepared. The night before he’d provided everyone with a three course meal that Tav was sure had left her armor fastening a bit too tightly. Now he had made a hearty stew from scratch. A tentative spoonful tested the temperature, before she was enthusiastically diving in for more. There was no debate that Gale was an incredible chef. Immense gratitude settled into her chest at the fact that he had taken up the duty of cooking so willingly back during those early days of adventuring together. Had meal planning been left up to her, everyone would have been eating cheese and dried meats every night. The thick liquid warmed some of the coolness in her heart and she turned back to her companion with more willingness to engage with him.

“So… What did everyone do today while I was gone?”

It wasn’t often that she left the others to their own devices. A bit of a micromanaging tendency she had developed overtime, but everyone seemed to value the fact that she made the majority of the decisions. They all came from such different places and backgrounds that her ability to remain level-headed in whatever situation the group found themselves in had caused everyone to unanimously appoint her their leader. Since then, she had been calling the shots and giving directions. Most of the time she didn’t mind the responsibility, but days like today were the few instances where the multitude of expectations sent her way became overwhelming. Still, it would be interesting to know if anything had gone completely horribly wrong in her absence. Gale tapped his chin at her question.

“Let’s see… Ah! Halsin spent the day talking to the plants. To my ears, it sounded reminiscent of a motivational speech one would give shy children. I’m not sure exactly how the conversation went, but I did see the most lovely of violets today. They are typically not native to this area, as you likely well know, so I am sure his hand had a play in helping it bloom. Did you know that the citizens of Waterdeep regard violets with the highest of prestige? There is an entire holiday celebrated annually in which violets are planted. It is known as Ahghairon’s Day, who, you may not know, was Waterdeep’s first Lord. Truly fascinating stuff, I assure you.”

Manicured nails pinched the bridge of her nose. That was not the kind of information she had been looking for. The beginnings of a headache started to throb in her temples. Her hand moved to run fingers through her hair. That stubborn strand that liked to stick to her forehead swished at the motion then flittered back down into its preferred spot. Her tone was sarcastic as she tried again to get anything useful out of her friend.

“Did anyone else do anything of note? Or did you all gather to watch Halsin talk to his plants?”

Gale let out a small chuckle at the snipe.

“Not up for discussing the intricacies of Waterdeep holidays I see. Not to worry, there is plenty more to conversate about that may be of more interest to you. Wyll and Shadowheart engaged in quite the debate today. Shadowheart was of the mind that proper penmanship is conducted with a limited amount of ink on the quill. Wyll, however, felt that a decent amount of ink is needed to ensure the legibility of one’s writing. I intervened, and being the resident academic, suggested that they both write the same lines, on a spare piece of parchment, side by side, and allow the rest of the camp to be the judge. Overall, more people agreed that Wyll’s handwriting was neater than Shadowheart’s, implying that more ink is indeed the favorable option. Admittedly, I fear, I am going to have to more elaborately investigate the particulars of this matter, as today’s experiment was a rather pitibale trial in the grand scheme of scientific discovery.”

Gods. Now she did have a headache. With the last bit of mental effort she could muster, Tav sent out a tadpole SOS to all of her companions.

“Someone please come save me from Gale.”

The wizard was still chattering on about the proper ways in which to employ the scientific method but she had wholeheartedly turned her ears off by this point. A tingle in her brain announced the incoming message sent her way, and Shadowheart’s voice washed over her mind.

“I had to put up with him all day. The very least you could do after running away this morning is take one for the team.”

She shot back the image of a raised middle finger and felt Shadowheart’s laughter. Opening her mind back up to the rest of those infected, she tried another tactic.

“Fine then. Don’t come over here to save me, come because I have something important to discuss.”

The noise of rustling tent flaps could be heard and soon all of her friends, save Astarion, were gathering around her. Gale cut off his monologuing in a sudden wheeze of air as Karlach affectionately thunked him on the back of his head.

“Hush up Sparkle Hands. Tav’s got something she wants to tell us.”

Tav rolled her shoulders back as she stood up so that everyone could see her. Wyll had been kind enough to grab Halsin who was unable to receive tadpole communications due to not having been infected with a Mindflayer parasite. A moment was spent looking at all of her friends who had followed her this far. Each one of them had fought by her side time and time again, defending her, risking their lives for her. Once again she would have to ask them to join her in an almost undoubtedly life threatening quest. Instinctually, her eyes searched for Astarion. He had become her partner in crime, the one she looked to for confidence when she felt unsure or insecure. He gave her the comfort she needed to be brave as she knew that despite what the others might say or do, he was always on her side. Her seeking came up short. He was not here. A quick scan of the treeline revealed nothing. She had hoped that he’d come swaggering out of them with his typical smirk. Had he heard her tadpole request? The psionic powers only worked within a certain range. Was he too far to hear her or had he simply chosen not to come? Another moment was spent as her eyes remained trained on the horizon but a cough had her reluctantly turning back to the group. With a deep breath, she mustered up the courage to start her speech.

“We have been through so much together. It’s hard to imagine that our journey has taken us this far. Many of us had hoped we’d have found a cure by now. Moonrise was the promise we were all holding onto. I’m sorry that it did not turn out the way we wanted. But we’ve learned valuable information. We now know that somewhere in Baldur’s Gate lies a Netherbrain in wait. We also know how to potentially defeat it. Three netherstones, for three chosen. Combined they will kill the brain. Or, make it possible to kill it. The hope is, that with its death, the tadpoles will cease to function and we will be cured while ultimately saving The Sword Coast from a full on Mindflayer invasion.”

A second deep breath. This was the part she’d been dreading her whole walk back to camp. The part where she would have to ask each of them to come with her. To join her in facing an ancient Illithid god. They would most likely die. The odds of walking away from that final battle practically nonexistent. Part of her wished she could face the horror alone. She had come to care for her companions deeply. She didn’t want to have to watch her friends die. But to capture even the slightest chance of success, she would need them. Chin lifting with deep determination, she looked at all of them in turn. Karlach, the fiery barbarian with a heart of gold. Shadowheart, the recently converted Selûnite with so much life still to live. Gale, the most intelligent academic she’d ever come across who deserved the chance to live the life of his dreams. One by one she gazed into their eyes. Lae’zel the warrior. Halsin the wise. Wyll the noble. Her voice was resolute as the question finally formed on her lips.

“Who will come with me?”

The air went still with the weight of the task ahead of them. Karlach was the first to move. Without breaking eye contact she stepped up to put herself directly in front of Tav. Her large, red hand came to rest on the smaller woman’s shoulder.

“I’ll follow you to the end of the road, Soldier.”

Some of the anxiety in her stomach dissolved and she tugged her ferocious best friend into a hug. Karlach was with her. Pulling away, Tav glanced at the rest of her compatriots. Lae’zel stepped up next. The Githyanki woman sneered, her small, upturned nose flaring.

“This creature is enemy number one of my kind. I would be a coward if I were to turn away now.”

Despite her harsh response, Tav smiled. The green female’s mannerisms were a hard pill to swallow at first, but the ranger had found herself beginning to enjoy the unique qualities of the fighter’s personality. Plus she felt a bit of pride in the role she had played in helping the young Gith grow from judgemental, astral soldier to the more nuanced woman she now was. A hand was presented for Lae’zel to take and the two of them clasped wrists in a firm sort of handshake. Halsin spoke third and he too moved to put a heavy hand on her shoulder.

“Tav, you helped me cure the blight that has haunted my mind for one hundred years. You have brought life back to a land without any, and provided me the opportunity to save my childhood friend. I promised you my aid back in the Grove, and I have no plans of retracting it, no matter how difficult the road ahead may prove to be. My skills are yours to wield”

Tears began pricking behind her lids. Three out of her seven allies had sworn their allegiance to her for a second time. It was overwhelming to be trusted so wholeheartedly. To have so much weight resting upon her small frame. She quickly wiped at the drop of liquid escaping down the bridge of her nose.

“And the rest of you? What do you say?”

Wyll brought a closed fist across his chest in salute to her.

“The Blade is at your service.”

Gale summoned a spark of magic into his hand.

“What’s an adventure without a wizard by your side.”

Shadowheart gave her a snide smile.

“We’ve all come this far. It would be silly to not see it through to the end.”

Tav laughed, flashing her teeth in a wide smile.

“Then pack your things. We head for the city in three days.”

Astarion was pacing around the circular floor of the prison warden’s office. The sound of his tasteful boots scraping against the stone tiling echoed throughout the chamber, making it the only noise to be heard in the raided tower. His back was stiff and his feet were sore. He felt hungry, cranky, and beyond tired. He hadn’t slept last night. Nor did he expect to get any rest this night either. Damn. He picked up a loose stone by his toe and tossed it across the room. It went clattering, creating the grating sound of stone against stone.

“I don’t understand it. First she wants sex, then she wants me. Only for hours later to be shooting arrows at my head! What is a man supposed to think!?”

His shrill, ostentatious voice pierced the veil of quiet that had settled over the space at Moonrise when its ruler had fallen. Spiders retreated back into their webbed cracks and a cockroach skiddled in front of him. A swift stomp crushed it. He hated cockroaches. That and rats had been the only things Cazador had ever allowed him to eat. Tav had been the first humanoid being he had ever drank from. Before that fateful night where his hunger had driven him to try and sneakily feast on her, he had been slipping into the wilderness, when he could, to hunt down any animals he could get his claws on. After accidentally revealing himself as a Vampire, he and Tav had struck up their every other day arrangement. It still took him off guard that she had so willingly accepted his condition. He grit his teeth.

“I swear to all of the Gods within the Nine Hells that I have never met a woman as confounding as her! It’s like the sweet thing doesn’t even know what she actually wants. One moment she is fine with the way things are, and then the next she is telling me she wants our relationship to mean something! I thought it did mean something!”

The speed of his pacing increased and his voice took on a rougher, more angry edge. One of his hands was gesticulating wildly in the air as he continued to process out loud, while the other fiddled with the strings of his ruffled camp shirt.

“I could have given her experiences beyond her wildest imagination, but noooo. She just had to go and make things complicated! Now what am I to do!? Agh! I need input people! I have been mulling over this for hours. Someone please give me something to go off of here so that I can try and make sense of everything.”

Astarion paused in his grumbling speech and tilted his head to the side as if he was listening to a faint voice. Displeasure pooled within his features and he let out an Elven slur.

“Timothy, your opinions are absolutely worthless! She hasn’t gone mad! I would have picked up on something like that. The warning signs are always evident months in advance. After all, I’ve seen my fair share of people lose the battle to insanity while locked in Cazador’s prison and I know for a fact that she is not one of them! So somebody else say something…please!”

A cajoling smile settled onto his lips as he spun on his heel and put the back of his hand on his jutted out hip. His opposite knee took on a slight bend as he leaned forwards in a mock bow. His free hand was raised, the last three fingers of the appendage curled inwards while his index and thumb pointed outwards and to the side, respectively.

“Griselleda, darling, what do you think? Am I the one in the wrong here?”

Once again his head tilted as he listened for a response. The outstretched hand snapped back to his side at whatever answer he received. With a dismissive flourish over his shoulder, his body swung back around to return to his pacing.

“Ugh! You Humans are so medieval. She does not have the plague!”

The sound of sole against floor returned and Astarion completed five laps of the room before shouting irritably at the slumped body of a dead, incredibly hairy, Dwarven man that he had placed carefully against one of the walls.

“Helvar, for the love of Gods! Chew with your mouth closed! I am trying to think!”

He glared at the stout corpse then surveyed the other four positioned to sit next to ‘Helvar’. Griselleda, the plump Human woman, wore a bloodied apron that was starting to attract flies. Beside her, Timothy the Deep Gnome, sat slack jawed with a mouthful of maggots. With a sneer, he approached the body of what used to be a good-looking High Elven woman and lifted a finger to her bottom lip. Pulling the useless muscle down, he wiggled it in a mock semblance of speech. His voice morphed into a haughty falsetto as he mimed speaking as the woman.

“Well, Astarion. I think you might have hurt her feelings and that’s why she shot at you. She has always been a bit brash and strong headed. Perhaps spending so much time around Karlach has taken her already wild tendencies and turned her into a barbarian of sorts.”

He released the corpse from his grasp and the woman’s head lolled against a stone brick with an audible thump. A quick stride took him back across the room and his lean frame stooped to lift up a discarded lock that had already been picked. It was old and about the size of a kiwi. The item was twiddled between his palms as he considered the new idea.

“You make a good point, Margaret. I clearly hurt her. Maybe I have had a part in this whole debacle… Ugh, but that still doesn’t leave me with any answers on what to do about it.”

Suddenly Astarion’s body tensed and he whirled around chucking the lock he’d been holding at the greying head of an older, and very dead, Human man. The swinging shackle of the mechanism lodged itself right into the meat of the man’s left eye with a sickening squelch.

“I don’t want to fucking hear it Bernard! Just because you married a wretch, doesn’t make every woman one! I’ll have you know that Tav is lovely to be around! Her wit and charm are more than alluring! And the sound of her voice is that of a siren’s song! I could spend all day listening to her. She wouldn’t even have to talk about anything remotely interesting and I’d be completely engaged…”

Ruby eyes took on a semblance of wistfulness. Dejectedly, hands came up to meet his face and massage the fleshy divots underneath his brows, directly behind his eyes. His body sank to the floor against a tall bookcase. There were so many emotions warring inside his mind. Anger. Fear. Confusion. Those were the ones he could identify. But there were infinitely more that remained unnamed. For once, he wished that he’d been afforded the opportunity to learn magic. Surely there was a spell that could sort all of this out for him. A scroll of Enhance Ability would do him wonders right now. Gods. How had everything between him and Tav gone so wrong? He’d thought they had had a mutual understanding. He outrageously propositions her, she turns him down. It was fun and entertaining. It made him strive harder for new and creative ways to try and get her to sleep with him… It kept the years worth of foul memories spent as Cazador’s toy at bay… And now she had gone and ruined the whole dynamic. Leaning into his anger was the only way he could see himself getting through the night. Those other two pesky emotions were better served smothered. He didn’t like the feeling of being afraid or confused. Didn’t like the litany of unknown sentiments that had him wanting to tear his hair out. So he chose to stay mad. Mad at Tav. Mad at the world. And maybe, even a smidgen, mad at himself.

The sun was high in the sky by the time Astarion forced himself to leave the tower. He bid farewell to the bodies that had kept him company throughout the witching hours, specifically deciding to leave ‘Timothy’ with a mustache of blood drawn on him. It took longer than expected to return to camp, his body frequently bumping into trees and tripping over obstacles along his path. He was so tired. Two days without rest would leave anyone exhausted, even an Elf who only needed four hours of trancing a night. All he wanted to do was return to his red, rectangular tent and collapse upon his bedroll. Maybe lose himself in a shitty book with unfathomably bad romance. *That sounds nice.* Unfortunately, Tav spotted him the instant he made it over the crest of the passage that tied their campsite to Last Light Inn. She came stomping up to him with a wholly unbecoming expression plastered on her usually breathtaking face.

“Where have you been!?”

She was not pleased. All night Tav had sat up by the fire watching for his return. What initially had started as worry, slowly distorted into anger the longer the hours dragged on with no sign of him. She had nearly lost her mind at the swirl of concern and indignance fired up inside her chest. He had stayed out all night! In enemy territory no less! It was stupid and immature. The kind of juvenile venture she would have expected from somebody half his age. The whole thing was making her blood boil, so when his figure finally appeared over the hill, she leapt to her feet and stalked towards him. Arms crossed over her chest when she was close enough to see the faint beauty mark that existed upon his left cheek. Her leg bounced involuntarily as she glared at him.

“Do you know how foolish that was!? Staying out on your own right after the battle at Moonrise!?”

She was still dressed in her armor from the day before. Apparently she hadn’t taken the time to change when she’d arrived back at camp. Which meant she had been neglecting self-care just like he was. Irritation crept into his bones. He didn’t want the responsibility of being the reason she refused to take care of herself. The blame was entirely hers. She was choosing to be difficult to get a rise out of him. An attempt to make him feel bad for their fight. Well, he had no intentions of playing along. Astarion’s chin lifted as he plastered a haughty expression on his face. She was looking at him expectantly. The audacity! The damn woman wanted him to explain himself. Explain where he’d been. He shouldn’t have to explain himself! He was an adult man! If he wanted to stay out past the party’s bedtime he had every right to do so! Sharp fangs bared in her direction at his irate huff.

“Didn't I tell you not to wait up? I thought I had made myself clear that I was not planning to return until today. Besides, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you.”

Tav’s eyes rolled, her arms becoming tighter across her chest. If her breasts hadn’t already been covered and compressed by the scalemail she wore, they would have been showing more cleavage than a busty barmaid at how tightly she squeezed herself. What a stupid, stupid man. Astarion was strong but not ‘take on an army of scorned cultists’ strong. Had there been any Absolute followers still lingering about, they could have taken full advantage of the fact that he was in the woods without a single weapon or any piece of armor. Plus, what if the Shadow-Curse hadn't been completely eradicated? He wouldn't have stood a chance should the slew of corpses they had left in their wake these past few weeks suddenly become reanimated. Any form of fight would have left him in a very difficult position. Sarcasm dripped like venom from the tip of her tongue as she sassed him while maintaining her harsh glare.

“Right, because if an entire horde of cultists decided they wanted revenge, you'd have been more than adept at handling them.”

A rough scoff. Was she actually serious? He had faced far worse than a few measly cultists. A Vampire Spawn was still a deadly creature to encounter in the dark despite it not having the full extent of powers a True Vampire possessed. He could have dealt with a fight. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t taken precautions while away. Camping out at the towers had been a strategic move. Picking the prison warden’s office in the basement of said towers had even added to the natural defences the structure provided him. He had been perfectly safe. It was incredibly insulting for her to have simply assumed he wasn’t. He was a Vampire for fuck’s sake. Not some lowly peasant with the constitution of a mole and the average intelligence of a newt. He knew how to be careful. Knew how to defend himself. He had fully taken the threats of night into account. It was ludicrous she even dared to suggest otherwise. He matched her sarcastic tone with one of his own.

“Do my ears deceive me, or are they really hearing you doubt my abilities? I’m a Vampire Spawn, darling. I’m the thing people warn their children about. The nightmare everyone hopes they don’t encounter in the dark. Any amount of cultists wouldn’t have stood a chance against me.”

With a quick jerk of her head Tav cracked her neck. This man and his ego. What she wouldn’t give to watch his egregiously large skull deflate. Her mouth curled and freckled nose scrunched as she sneered at him.

“I don't doubt your abilities, Astarion, but that was a stupid move. You were unarmed and unarmored. Should someone have wanted to turn your insides into ribbons they could have.”

A touch of desperation seeped into her agitated voice.

“I need you, so make sure you come back to camp from now on.”

The sarcasm dropped from his demeanor. ‘I need you.’ The words bounced around his mind with an out of control chattering. ‘I need you. I need you.’ She needed him… What did she need from him? Was she referring to the assistance he provided in battle? Or maybe she meant his ability to pick any lock. Those would be the logical reasons as to why she might need him. His throat tightened. What if she was actually referring to the pleasure of his company? Or even simply, his presence. That was why he needed her. She was the first friend he could remember having in over two centuries. The first person to make him feel… *No!* He didn’t want to feel! Feeling made him weak! It made him a target! Fuck her for making him feel! Instinctually he lashed out. Hurt her before she hurt him.

“Well I don’t need you! And I most definitely don’t need you policing what I do!”

White hot fury blazed inside of Tav. Two words gritted from her teeth.

“Shut. Up.”

A direct order. Spoken like he was some kind of insubordinate in need of chastising. He lifted his chin higher and looked down at her from above the top of his angular nose.

“There you go again trying to tell me what I can and cannot do! Who died and made you king?”

Tav closed her eyes and balled her hands into fists. *Breathe. Remember to breathe. If you turn him into a skewer, this whole thing will turn out much worse than it already is.* She knew she shouldn’t snap back. They were both tired and emotionally drained. Another fight would not do either of them any good. Her mouth had a different idea, though, and the words that came tumbling out were provocative.

“Might I remind you, that you all appointed me as leader of this group, and it is currently my word you are supposed to follow. If I want you to be back in camp, you will come back to camp! If I want you to shut up, you will shut the fuck up!”

That did it. There was no more ‘Mr. Nice’ Astarion. All that was left was seething rage.

“Ah yes. Our fearless leader with all her ducks requiring rows. Shall I bow down to your clear superiority?”

Tav willed her body to keep still. Hitting people she cared about was never the right way to go about things. How many times had her fists gotten her into trouble? She didn’t need to add another instance to that list. An enraged, final warning was the best she could muster.

“I swear to Gods, Astarion! If you don't shut your bitch ass mouth…!”

But Astarion was on a roll now. It was too late to try and stop the defensive hate spewing past his teeth. He strided closer to her, his voice dropping an octave into a dark, malicious jeer.

“You'll what? Put me in the corner for being a bad boy? Am I going to get spankings too?”

She couldn’t take it anymore. This petty back and forth. The endless taunting. She was too tired for his shit. Too vulnerable. Too raw. Her emotions burst out of her with a roar.

“That's enough! I've had enough of you! If you are going to be a stupid, pompous asshole, then go do it somewhere else!”

There it was. The truth. She was done with him. Declared by her very own lips. Gods, it hurt more than he could have imagined. To be valued and then discarded. It was a fate only intended for the worst the world had to offer; and it came as no shock the world deemed him as such. He was vermin. Less than that. He was the piece of muck stuck to the bottom of a shoe, existing only to be eventually scraped off and left behind. And it seemed like now was the time Tav took up the scraping. He didn’t blame her. Not really. There had always been the chance that she’d grow tired of his antics and send him packing. He was honestly surprised it had taken this long. At the start of their journey, he would have bet all of his coin on the prediction that she’d get rid of him within a week. Somehow he had made it just over five months. *This cannot be the end.* They had made it so far. Grown so close. He trusted her. She couldn’t actually be sending him away now of all times. The only piece of hope left in his chest managed to ask the quiet question of confirmation.

“Are you telling me to pack up and leave?”

The emotion behind the query was lost to the storm of fire raging inside Tav’s soul. She was too far gone to notice the change in Astarion. She spit out her response with offhanded bluntness. Her mind was still swimming in the puddle of anger he had successfully stirred up.

“What? No. But I am telling you to go bitch by yourself. I don't need this from you today! There's too much to do and your attitude isn't required.”

The notion that she wasn’t kicking him out of the party hit him like a bull bucking a rider loose. It left him floored. He would have cried tears of relief had his pride not reminded him that once again she was bossing him around. His nostrils flared. He repositioned himself. Shoulders back, head tilted in up in performance. More imprudent words flew from his sharp tongue.

“Right, so I'm just supposed to go sit in my tent and whittle the time away until you're no longer throwing a tantrum? How childish of you.”

“You're the one acting childish! If you had just talked to me yesterday like a normal fucking person then maybe we'd both be in better moods right now!”

Her voice carried across the entire span of their camp. It drew the attention of all of their companions who had previously been minding their own business as she’d confronted Astarion. Each of them had noticed his absence the night before and each of them had picked up on the distress it had caused Tav. No one actually knew what had gone down between the two, but they did know that both had disappeared the previous morning the moment the sun had fully risen. Now there was a clear fight brewing and the strongest of them began to prepare to pull Tav and Astarion apart should things turn violent.

Astarion feigned nonchalance. He lifted a hand and inspected the back of his nails.

“Talk to you about what? There was, and still isn't, anything to talk about.”

Tav’s entire face was red. She looked like a balloon ready to pop. Karlach inched closer to her, while Lae’zel snuck up on Astarion.

“Are you fucking serious right now!? Nothing to talk about!? How about we start with the fact that you fucking kissed me! Why don't we start there!? Huh!?”

Every eye in camp went wide. Tav and Astarion had kissed. This was huge… For five months all of them had been watching the pair tiptoe around their feelings for each other. Tav loved Astarion, that much was clear. Astarion’s feelings for Tav, however… Some of them had their suspicions. Some of them thought he was insincere. To hear that he was the one who had tipped the proverbial scales? That was unexpected.

Astarion fanned out his fingers in front of him with a ‘tsk’.

“I don't recall anything like that ever happening.”

As his head turned away from her in mock disinterest, she lunged. Karlach caught Tav around the waist and held the livid woman in her grasp. Squirming, Tav clawed at the beefy Tiefling’s forearms. Her teeth were gnashing in dazzling sparks of white and a little bit of foam was collecting in the corner of her mouth.

“Quit it with the gaslighting! We both know what went down! Why are you trying to pretend it never happened!?”

He turned his back to the ranger, fluffy, silver curls dramatically swaying at the movement.

“If something had happened, then it would have been inconsequential. It would have meant nothing.”

Tav’s body went stock still. Tentatively, Karlach set the Elf back on her feet. The woman’s tone had gone icy. It was the same mocking tone she had used moments before they had physically fought the day prior.

“Nothing!? Hah. Fine then. It was nothing. Why would anyone think kissing you meant something anyways? It's all just part of the act you put on isn't it? The suave, seductive Vampire following his master's command like a good little Spawn. I thought you were free, Astarion. I thought you were better than that.”

It was Lae’zel’s turn to catch Astarion around the waist as he lunged. The Githyanki fighter had no troubles lifting the light 5 '9 man off the ground. Legs kicked as he fought against the strong woman’s hold. Spit came flying out of his mouth as he screamed at Tav.

“HOW DARE YOU!!!”

Tav tilted her head in a play for innocence. She put on a sickly sweet smile as she purred.

“What? Is the monster's feelings getting hurt? I didn't think he had any.”

Lae’zel held him tighter as Astarion nearly broke free. He struggled and struggled, but in his emotional state the Gith’s hold remained unbreakable. Tav let out a horrible, cruel, wicked laugh. It sent chills down everyone’s spine.

“While you’re following orders, why don’t you do me a favor and be a good little pet. We leave in three days so I need you to pack your things. Oh, and do try and get rid of whatever you have that isn't absolutely necessary. I’d hate to see you dragging behind because you couldn't part with something useless like yourself.”

Each command and jeer struck like a shard of exploding ice. His body felt cold. Colder than it normally was. He wanted to cry. But there were too many people watching. They had gathered the attention of the entire camp. Even the four animal companions they traveled with were watching intently. He stopped struggling but Lae’zel did not let him go.

“Stop…”

Tav couldn’t let it rest. She had to win. Had to fight. Make him feel as awful as she did. She kept going.

“You know if you had simply come back last night, none of this would be coming as a shock to you. I made this whole big announcement, and if you had simply acted maturely and worked out our issues when we fought in the woods, then you would know all this. So come morning on the 17th of Flamerule I want you to be completely ready to head to the city. Any attitude, and I might just get rid of you.”

His body shook with his unshed tears. It was over. They were over… A tiny squeak came from his throat. A begging of her name.

“Tav…”

She didn’t hear it. She was lost. Lost in anger. In rage. Lost to that overwhelming bundle of hurt tangled deep inside her chest. Everyone waited with bated breath. What would she say next? Would Tav double down and make the worst mistake of her life…?

She did.

“Be a good boy and listen, Astarion.”

His body slumped in Lae’zel’s arms. She let him go and he dropped to his knees. He looked up at Tav with more hatred than he had shown this whole adventure.

“I don’t have to take this from you. I am not a slave any longer. And I am not yours. I will never be yours!”

Slowly, he climbed to his feet. A glance was given to each of their companions before he rigidly turned and walked out of camp.

The realization of what she’d done caught up with Tav as Astarion’s form disappeared into the sun. All the anger faded within seconds. He was gone. She had pushed him too far. With a hollow sinking in her stomach, she knew, in that moment, that she had well and truly lost him.

[askuhtredragnarson]

Hild leads her horse out of the stable and freezes in place as she sees their lord approaching, though it is likely just coincidental timing.

"Uhtred," she says quietly, wiping at her eyes as they reach each other. "I...I am leaving Rumcofa. I am... not happy here, and I feel that I am being punished for having stayed after all that has happened.

"I cannot continue to be the rock for everyone else while I am silently drowning." She continues, tears falling freely. "For years, I have been beside you...I have fought with and for you. Yet now, I feel as if there is no one to return the favor... though it is my own fault, I am sure. I feel as if I no longer have a place here, and everyone would be better for it if I... if I move on."

She shakes her head regretfully. "I do not blame you, Uhtred, nor anyone but myself. I have put myself in this position, and I...I can't do this any longer. The damage done between me and Finan is too deep. Too painful.

He... he hates me now, and no matter what I say, he sees it as an insult, and I am tired of the fight. Tired of the hurt and anger, of having my words twisted into insults they were never meant to be, and... being on the receiving end of cruelty I never realized he was capable of...and I'm deeply sorry to have put you in the middle of it all."

She draws a shaky breath and places a hand on her mare's neck, her eyes downcast. "I am going to Northumbria...t-to an abbey near Dunholm."

@warriorabbesshild

Uhtred releases a long sigh as he considers her words. He pinches the bridge of his nose to hold back the tears in his eyes. It’s painful for him to see two of the people he is closest to at odds with one another, and he doesn’t know how to fix it, or if he even can. The chasm between them seems as if it is too deep, and maybe only time can heal it. If he would have known, back when Finan first expressed an interest in being with Hild, that this heartache between the two of them would be the result, he would have advised Finan against it.

“I wish I had the words to ease your suffering. It kills me to see you both fighting. I had hoped that you both could go back to being friends, but I fear the wounds are still to fresh. I think you both punish each other because deep down you still love each other in some form or another. You just don’t know how to process that love and it manifests as you hurting each other.” Uhtred solemnly says.

Uhtred kicks at the dirt as he looks out over the village. He had hoped Rumcofa would be a new beginning for everyone, but it seems that may have been a far fetched ideal.

“I love you and Finan deeply. You both have saved me in my darkest moments. Maybe this is all my fault… I only ever wanted the two of you to be happy, whether it was together or as close friends…But I also fear that a part of myself was selfish when you and Finan were together. Afraid that his relationship with you would cause him to reconsider being with me. To feel that being with me was wrong…. I was terrified that I would lose him and the bond we had. I think a part of me was also afraid this would happen, this anger between the two of you, because of the differences between you both.”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you are angry at me for my part in this….” Uhtred softly says, as he glances away. “Just know that I have always loved you and valued your friendship. I will always consider you a part of this family”

“It breaks my heart to see you go, but I won’t force you to stay where you are not happy” Uhtred can’t hide the sadness in his voice, even though he tries to put on a strong front. He feels like he is losing one of his best friends. “If you ever change you mind, we’ll be here.”

@warriorabbesshild

[theewriterdiaries]

Maybe. - Journal Entry #2

When I read your words, I cried. You thought it was out of sadness, but it was anger. Anger wasn’t a new emotion for me, but a common phrase I’d made my motto was, “disappointed but not surprised.” Cliché, I know. But sometimes cliché and mundane things are the most real.

I wanted closure, and to be honest, I still don’t have it. It’s a myth that you ever get true closure. I never tried to get closure from you because it was clear to me that I wouldn’t receive any even if I tried. The truth is you weren’t a bad person. But you did a really terrible thing that I couldn’t forgive. And then you made me seem like the bad guy.

If I set boundaries, I became uptight, bitchy, and a bad friend because I wasn’t willing to tolerate everything I’d sat there and tolerated in the past. If I told you the truth, I became a liar, because apparently my jealousy was making me say rash things.

I told you I was sorry, but I lied. I am not usually the one to become all egotistical and say that I did absolutely nothing wrong. But this time, I truly felt like I didn’t. Even now, looking back, I can’t think of a single thing I would’ve changed. I don’t regret leaving, and I think you truly thought I would come back to you eventually. I think you truly believed that time would heal everything and that I would just come running back to you and tell you I was sorry. You only thought this because I’d done it all those times before.

But even now, years later, I don’t forgive you. I don’t know if I ever will be able to. You hurt me, betrayed me, lied to me, took advantage of me, and then expected me to forgive you in the blink of an eye all because I’d been so forgiving in the past.

I loved you. I loved you so much. And while I know that my words have a harsh, bitter sting to them, it’s only because I loved you so much that I say these words so harshly. You were there for me in my darkest times. You saw the darkest side of me, a side I wouldn’t show to anyone else. Can I ever be that vulnerable with anyone ever again, I ask myself sometimes. Because the fear that maybe they’ll betray me the way you betrayed me haunts me.

You told me you’d changed, but you knew how many times I’d heard those same words from him. Him. The one you had warned me to leave. You knew his words were falsities. I never took your advice.

The confusion you had when I chose to leave you so soon, yet stayed with him for so long pains me. I know you were confused and hurt, and I didn’t mean for it to seem like I was doing it to spite you. Truly, I left because I could not handle being with someone who’d betray me so quickly. I’d learned my lesson, I’d grown, I realized where to draw the line. And while I know that, to you, it seemed unfair because I gave him hundreds of chances and hardly even given you a second chance, it’s because I had finally realized my worth.

You meant so much to me which is why it hurt so badly.

I don’t mean to make you feel like shit. I understand that these words probably feel like salt in the wound. You finally apologized, and the apology was beautiful. I wanted to believe it, but the words on that paper could’ve been just as much of a lie as the ones you had told me for eight months. How could I ever trust you again?

And maybe that was my fault for not trusting you again. For letting my fears and trust issues get in the way of our friendship. But maybe my emotions were valid. Valid because you lied to me and hurt me, and sometimes “sorry” doesn’t undo the damage.

I know it was only one fight and I know we had been friends for so long. How could I let the friendship go after one fight? But I hope that someday you can find the strength to know your worth the way I was able to find mine.

I don’t hate you. I never did. Even in the midst of everything. Even now, when I realize I may never be able to forgive you.

You were so good to me, and I am not going to let the hurt and pain blur or dull all of the good memories I know I can hold onto for a lifetime.

Maybe someday we’ll see each other in a grocery store and share a laugh or two. We’ll have kids and a spouse and a good career. We’ll be living the life we always wanted. And maybe this hurt will fade away and all that will be remembered are the good times.

Maybe.

[ladylaviniya]

I know lots of people had a bad 2023 and there's really traumatising things happening in the world.

But I will be selfish and share the good things that happened in my year that drowned the bad:

1. Friendships have been made. I have been incredibly lonely since 2020 due to a plethora of reasons. I met my online bestfriend in person this year. I have made friends here on Tumblr over fandoms I didn't originally know about.

2. I learnt how to date and what men really mean when they're actually using an innuendo. This has led me to unashamedly put my standards high and my boundaries strongly walked.

3. I got diagnosed with ADHD, which has given me the opportunity and privilege to access medication that has significantly improved my mental health.

4. I got a new job that I actually love with a respectful boss! No more living paycheck to paycheck on government supports.

5. I get to live in a affordable flat with a roof over my head in a safe neighbourhood. No fearing for break ins and no worrying about making rent in on time.

6. I learnt how to balance giving myself a break and motivating myself. How to give myself real self-care.

7. I managed to get help, therapy that helped me find outlets and strategies to express my anger, anxiety, depression, rage and controversial thoughts without everlasting abundance of shame.

10. I survived my own mind long enough to turn 22 years old. Kinda a big flex 💪 telling my intrusive thoughts to fuck off.

11. I have reconnected to the happier version of me. I have embraced the joy I had when I was 13. When I got butterflies over actors and characters and the thrill of reading new fanfics.

12. Despite being shadow banned, I was able to create a new account and start fresh and happy. Tagging and organising posts.

13. My Abuser is still alive and well. She remarried and had a baby. But she finally changed her lastname from my fathers to her new husbands, cutting the important tie we shared. I want to say that I hope her daughter grows up and grows to hate, despise, and abandon her, even murder her...but I also don't care anymore. I think I'm healing. I'll never forget those horrors, but after over 11 years I think I'm accepting there's nothing I can do to get the justice back and even if I got my revenge entirely...it wouldn't have changed what happened. Those are words for the universe.

In a year I am sure there will be lots of things that might change my life again. But after so many years...I'm getting used to it. This year has been relatively peaceful. I pray we all have a peaceful and accepting 2024.

I'm going to reblog this and see if in a year how much life as changed. ❤️ A message to future me... You might be scared, you might be sad, but you are alive and loved and your creativity brings joy. You have survived before, you will survive again. There's always a way out of trouble with the right support and resources. Don't give up. Stay proactive. You can do it because you've done it before.

[anem0iia]

evolution

Found this note from June 9th. 2018 (3:11 a.m.) that I wrote. It's interesting to see how these relationships, including the one I had with myself, has evolved in that timeframe. Some things in this feel familiar and relevant now, others not so much: Want to delete it from my phone so I'm posting it here:

I’m sad. I’m really sad. And I don’t see a future for me anymore. I haven’t been the same since the accident, or maybe before that. I’m angry, I’m bitter, I’m irritable and I’m sad. Sometimes I want to push everyone away, I don’t want to deal with social drama especially. I don’t want to deal with Mitchell’s emotional turmoil and him making me feel worse than normal with his strange approach to loving me or not loving me or whatever it is he does. I don’t want to listen to him say ew to my ostomy bag, it makes me feel sad and makes me change my thoughts towards the kind of person he is. I don’t want to deal with him telling me I’m overly sensitive and make my emotions seem not valid. I don’t know what happened, but he was there for me through it all for awhile and then a switch flipped. I think he hates me. Or he wants to hate me. I wonder if he was only ever there for me because he had feelings for me, and now his approach has changed because he hates me now. Why can’t he just be here for me as my friend? I want him to be here for me as my friend. He’s my best friend. If I hurt him somehow for not loving him the way he wanted, I can’t apologize for that. Nobody’s entitled to my love. But I just want my friend. We’re all different now though, I guess. It’s been a weird year.

I tell Logan everything, he’s the only one who knows how much I’m hurting, I think. He knows when I’m up at night and I have breakdowns because I tell him. Some detail, but not a full explanation,And he doesn’t act on it, but he has his moments where he shows his care and I think he knows how I’m feeling better than he let’s on. I know sometimes he thinks I’m a nut, and he isn’t empathetic at all but he has his moments and I am appreciative of those moments.  

I really need someone, but nobody’s understands. This has taken 8 months away from me, and so little has happened but nothing has at all. I don’t feel like me anymore, and I want to say I don’t want to die. But I just don’t see a path anymore. I don’t know what to do, I can’t really do anything. I just wait. I’m scared of any more complications and nobody knows what hell im trying to endure. And I can’t work on my social stuff, the drama with Mitchell and anyone else, I can’t because I’m too focused on my sadness and my anger and my fear and I don’t see my future so what’s the point in trying to show people my perspective when they’re too damn stubborn and caught up in their own emotions, too? I don’t want to hurt anyone. Especially my friends.

Lillie and Anna are the femininity I need, I’m not really close with anyone anymore. I’m probably closest with Logan in the sense that we talk everyday. But him and Mitchell mean the world to me. The absolute world. I don’t think I can be as close with anyone as I am with them, they’ve been with me through the roughest time of my life. Idk what Mitchell is going through with me, but all I can hope is it gets resolved. Idk. He doesn’t open up much. I don’t think I can do anything to help, I think he needs to work through it on his own. That’s been a huge concern to me since the accident, I don’t know, he’s my best friend idk what else to say, I don’t want our friendship to end but I feel like it will if whatever is going on doesn’t stop.

But. I don’t want to worry about that right now, I need to worry about healing. Idk if that’s alright with him. I think about where we stand a lot. 

I only have a few people left. 

 I can barely even get words onto a notepad anymore. I’ve been saying so much to everyone but I feel like a broken record and I can’t really express what I’m feeling or not feeling. 

I hate my life. I would hate myself but I don’t know who I am anymore. The only thing I know is I’m terrified. 

I thought I’d stop being terrified after that night, but the fear has just increased. I’m so unstable. My emotions are a rollercoaster. I don’t know stability anymore. I don’t know anything anymore. 

[dj1981]

I wrote this poem to express how we should "unconditionally love those who hate us" and "accept those who reject us". All it takes is one person to make a difference. Will you be the brave person who will? Here is my poem, Enjoy!

Title: "Love's Triumph: The Power of Kindness"

In a world so filled with anger and disdain, Where hearts grow cold, and friendships wane, There lies a path, a way so bright, To vanquish hate with love's pure light. When someone strikes you, with anger ablaze, Extend your hand, offering peace in a daze, For in that touch, forgiveness may reside, And bridges mend where divisions once lied. When whispers echo, behind your back, Speak words of kindness, to halt their attack, For in the face of malice, let truth be known, That goodness prevails, and seeds of love are sown. When rejection stings, and wounds do pierce, Continue to embrace, erasing all their fears, For acceptance and compassion break the chains, That bind their hearts, releasing love's refrains. When harsh words are hurled, with venomous might, Respond with grace, like stars that shine so bright, For a gentle tongue, like a healing balm, Can soothe the soul, and bring peace and calm. Let this be the anthem, our guiding creed, To conquer hatred, plant love's precious seed, For when kindness prevails, in the face of strife, We transcend our differences, uniting all of life. So, let us embark on this noble quest, To build a world where love is expressed, Where hate is diminished, and wounds are healed, And the power of kindness is forever revealed. In this realm of compassion, where empathy's skies, Unite all beings, with love's gentle rise, May we find solace, in the strength of our ties, And witness the triumph, where love never dies.

[ofseptarsis]

'You confuse me'

To admit that that feeling was feeling was a shared one would be to admit vulnerability, or so Tófi thinks.

They'd cultivated the image of someone who carefully calculated things, that could hardly be surprised by things after a generous amount of centuries of life, after having spent a good while of those inside a battlefield, so to admit that a grieving woman, Magick or not, could not only surprise them but also cause them to show the worst of themselves would be...

...it wouldn't be ideal -it would be real, but it wouldn't exactly be what they wanted to project, nor what Menodora probably wanted to see.

So they smile, instead, try to shrug it all off.

It was a shame, but it was just the way things worked and the faster the accepted that, the faster they could move on to better things -the wounds would heal, the clothes stained in red and black (glamour covered and non-glamour covered blood, respectively) would get discarded, the fire-damaged floor and furniture replaced.

Life would go on.

"Regeneration is...almost fair when the opponent has a magic arsenal, I think" they say as they step forward and move a hand to absentmindedly touch the wound on their shoulder, feeling a sharp, albeit dulled, pang of pain when their fingertips touch the sides of the incision "this is as close to fair we will ever get"

That was, after all, the only reason why the Mjaunian war had continued for as long as it had: there was a certain balance to their abilities that had caused a stalemate-

-at least until...

Ah. No. They'd rather not think of it right now.

"The other you was grieving" they continue, moving their red-stained hand to the other side of their clothes, wiping away the blood then oh-so-carefully brushing away some loose strands of hair that had fallen unto Moon's face "A grief that is not yours to know, about something that is not yours to mourn"

It had taken causing a scene to distract her from it, but at least Tófi had accomplished their mission of reminding Moon that she still had other feelings she could and should focus on.

Anger was, more often than not, a good option.

'I'll pay for the damages'

"Do not" it might seem a petty thing, but... "I can deal with it myself, there is no need for you to worry about it"

That is equal parts an honour thing and a practicality thing: to accept her (Mjaunie's tax payer's) money would feel wrong, specially when they had been the one that had brought the whole thing upon themselves -and to have her stick around during the process of having the place repaired would raise a couple of eyebrows.

It was a good thing that Manors in The Woods were rather separated from one another and that most people were out at that time of day, really, had they chosen to start this whole...thing at another time then they would have surely had the cops (or the firemen) called on them.

'I fear my burning has burnt a bridge between us. I fear your sharp tongue had severed some ties before that.'

"Understandable" they reply, even if there was something inside them that still wanted to point out that the whole thing had started because of her, of her emotional state and how much they found it not only unbecoming but unacceptable.

But that would be like beating a dead horse.

"I do not particularly regret my words" they concede "but I do feel somewhat sorry about you feeling this -that- way"

It's contradictory but natural at the same time: loathing and love can coexist; They hate that sad, vulnerable side of her while they cling to the potential, to the daring and strong Moon, to the curious Diamonds, to the dutiful Menodora.

That is the kind of thing that happens when one of your best friends also happens to be one of your long-time oppressors -things get messy, positive and negative feelings constantly fight one another and one can't really tell which one will win.

'Whether it was an illusion of propriety and friendship, or was genuine, I don't believe it can be salvaged. Or at least the same'

"It-"

Was real. Surprisingly so.

But before they can say as much Moon's already laughing-sobbing and they are taking yet another step forward, searching for a physical origin to that.

"I should have ibuprofen somewhere in the kitchen" they offer, resting a hand on her shoulder as they lower their gaze to her stained hands and the way the dark purple seems...even darker now.

That must hurt.

'Our friendship was nice while it lasted'

"You came looking for help, yet I attacked you. If someone should be apologizing here, it is me"

But they aren't.

"Try and not linger too much on it, for it will not do you any good. What is really important now is getting you some water and something to relief the pain"

'I'm sorry I had to burn it'

It's...funny, yet sad, how she's defaulted to taking responsibility for everything that may go wrong, regardless of if any of it was her fault or not.

So Tófi offers her a soft, evidently guilty smile in return -because they knew full well that they were to blame for some of it.

"I was the one who did it. Who has done it time and time again" they reassure her "and I will do it again, as many times as necessary"

They'd willingly become her enemy time and time again if that meant making her a little stronger, a little more resilient.

@menodoramoon

genfødte sandheder || Tófi & Moon

[thedivineart]

PICK A CARD: FACTS AND SECRETS OF YOUR GREATEST LOVE.

⠀⠀⠀꒰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⌷ .⠀⠀d i s c l a i m e r⠀⠀✿𝆬

[ 𝒜𝓇𝓉 ✧ ] any events and other things in your life are cannot be accurately predict by me and the tarot cards, do take a note that we are 'still' the creator of our 'future'- what you 'do' now will be the outcome of your future life and this could be either a good or bad, if your doing good and you are good to others expect the bright future ahead but in reverse you might expect the worst.

[ ℰ𝓂𝒾𝓈 ✧ ] to pick a pile, firstly take a good deep breath, second focus on every pile in the photo provided below { pile one, pile two, pile three }, and lastly scroll more down to reveal your reading. if you cannot still pick up any of the pile, do remember the sequence of what is written in the first sentence.

ꕀ ׅ࣪ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ 𝓅𝒾𝒸𝓀 𝒶 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝒹 ; facts and secrets of your ᵍʳᵉᵃᵗᵉˢᵗ ˡᵒᵛᵉ

[ 𝒜𝓇𝓉ℯ𝓂𝒾𝓈 ✧ ] grammatical errors ahead, if you're a perfectionist then leave this pac. I do write with so many flaws and I know it's not perfect since my first language isn't english.

-` 𝑇𝐻𝐸𝐷𝐼𝑉𝐼𝑁𝐸𝐴𝑅𝑇 ´- ✰︵ — m a s t e r l i s t ´-

: ･. ﾟ ✧. : ･. ☽˚｡ ･ﾟ ✧: ･. :.

PILE ONE

seems that they likes socialising, sort of life of the party individual and may possibly that they got alot of friends since they value friendships however there's something happened between them and a friend ( probably group of friends ) which lead your person to feel victimize and got anxiety. either this called friend is hating/sabotaging them or bullying them, idk but this one 'friend' and your person isn't in good terms, definitely fear this 'friend' too. hmm, I feel that there's something fishing involve here, I think your person and this 'friend' have something before, like they tried to be in relationship before but actually failed to become stable. this person of yours may/already feel heartbreak and betrayal in their timeframe, even though they got friends they still feel need someone to fill their loneliness. on the other side, they literally got it all and might come from wealthy or wealthy by themselves (if they are a 'man'), high status in life and often in leadership position like in company being it's c.e.o or the boss where they work, actually they got multiple options and choices about their life, like they can get what they like unlike the others. however they tends to daydream and imagine often. also likes luxurious things or materialistic individual they are, they care about the money alot and good at handling it, they literally hate it when someone is late when there's a sched and call time when it be happen, but they are slow to be anger. when you see this person physically and in reality, you'll be having the thought of "they looks tough and cold individual" when it quite faraway from it, they know how to hide their innocence and vulnerability inside by hiding it on their appearance. one thing that keeps me interested with this individual, they willing to give it all if they love someone that's why often they end up feels of being disappointed and just hurting themselves but they know how to heal themselves too. knife and skull symbol might be prominent for this person maybe a tattoo or they like those symbols.

- dm me for personal readings

PILE TWO

tw: die, kill

soulmates connection here.there's two scenario here, first -they know within themselves that they are defensive being but of course they don't wouldn't tell it, if they found themselves in that situation they tends to walk away and leave that situation or where they are now, they want to leave and scape to that place but they don't know how, all they can do now is to be patient most of the time. and might be conservative in everything. they also know how to manifest specially to their desires, they believe that action and willingness with manifestation will lead you to a prosperous and secure life, at some point they prefer to work alone like being self employed. might be ailurophiles, they love cats. seems that they are more confident, if they achieve something or if someone is supporting them. they like to offer for people alot whether it's time, money or support from them. negative sides might be forgetful and hot tempered, idk if they are famous since they have alot of supporters maybe quite well known where field or place they are. they do believe success comes from hard work and overcoming obstacles, love how optimistic they are. finally a secret was channeled here, they may don't seem one as physically but they are very sensual individual who knows how to hide it. they do care about the animals specially if this is a cat and the humanity. you can easily may know their true identity by how they act in front of you. for some point, some people here may already know this person or will gonna know this individual this year. dang bruh, I'm shock to this message but this person having thoughts of wanting to die, they want to commit this sin or their anxiety is getting worst day after day, they want to tell it to someone but this person thinks that ' will they understand them even though they will tell it to someone'. s/he got the reason for it, the story behind of why they want to do it but might be afraid that no one will understand them. just a reminder that be observant to people who surround you, look how they behave and think before you outburst words coming from your mouth cause we don't know who suffer, this type of mental illness can kill, no kidding around.

- dm me for personal readings

PILE THREE

this person got powerful aura than the rest of the piles and somewhat seems that this pile is the combination of 1 and 2. they come from a wealthy/stable family/high status or inheritance from old people around their family, that's the reason why they don't suffer much when in comes to finances, this money may came from a masculine energy more likely the father or their grandpa. mostly who pick this pile, your person is more mature in appearance or by mentally or by age. might be working on authority level like the boss or in government and law or higher positions like manager, being team leader etc. for some people who pick this pile, I see that they still studying like maybe in higher grade than yours or simply this person loves to learn and very determine as well dedicated to what they are studying. however they may have fear that someone is more better than them, or they experience anxiety or deep unhappiness which causes to got some sleep paralysis/negativity. on the other hand, I'm seeing that they will overcome this one his/her obstacles. they tends to act hasty or bad mouthing and expressing how bitter they are in life maybe because of what they just experience, or they been/will face betrayal in life. they got big social cycle, alot of people know them and they know alot of people too, possibly that they are famous in their surrounding, however your person really knows who are the true and enemy to them or your person may feels that every people around them are not true and just want them for the money and fame specially if those individuals are his/her friends. they been wishing for healing from what people did to them for a very long period of time, they got solution and want to fly away to rest and ease this pain within themselves. they want some joy in their life and was eager for seeking it. as a addition, I see here that this person got some eagle eye or great observation, like they see it but other people wouldn't. everyone seems to respect this person and they know it, they know they are someone who should be respected too ( seems overbearing for me ). when they talk they are too honest to their words and doesn't care if the someone may feel hurt from it or spilling tea is one of their habit/mannerism. one more thing, they think people around them are ugly ( lol, that's bad ) like they based on physical appearance but of course they will keep it by themselves however if you focus on their eyes you can see the judging looking.

- dm me for personal readings

[ 🤎. ] Hello! Thank You so much for checking out this pac reading, if you ever like it please do follow and reblog for more pac. Let me know what you feel by commenting down below...

© thedivineart — do not plagiarize any of my work, translate or repost it on other social media platform , do remember that this is only my official account where all my pac are posted, if you ever see something like mine from word by word kindly report it to me, thank you<3. theme is included

[jaegereism]

Hey there! I'm a big fan of your work. Also, I'd like to request jealous yandere aot boys x reader headcanons where they notice that reader has a crush on someone else or maybe is planning getting in a relationship with someone else

sorry if this took a while. i’ve been kinda busy lately. :(

𝙔𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙍𝙀 𝙎𝙉𝙆 𝘽𝙊𝙔𝙎 𝙅𝙀𝘼𝙇𝙊𝙐𝙎 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙊𝙉𝙎

Characters: eren jaeger, armin arlert, jean kirstein, reiner braun, porco galliard, levi ackerman

Warnings: DARK CONTENT! yandere, jealousy, toxic behavior, violence, suggestive themes, non-con, kidnapping, suggestive themes, manipulation, mentions of cheating, abuse of power, physical abuse

EREN JAEGER

Eren refuses to let you have unnecessary power over him. He chooses not to acknowledge his jealousy. However, the more he tries to suppress it, the more his discomfort grows. He is not very good with words, but that deadly gaze of his speaks volumes. In the end, he will give up his pride and openly compete for your affections. Little gestures of helpfulness, simple mentions of your name, and passionate eye-contact will not go unnoticed by you. In reality, however, Eren is anything but patient. All hell will break lose if you are still insistent on dating someone else. Don’t be surprised if Eren barges into your home and beats the shit out of your lover, right in front of you. He would not give you an explanation, no matter how much you question him. The reason behind his silence is not arrogance, it’s his resistance to unleashing his anger on you.

ARMIN ARLERT

Armin fears losing your friendship. He will most likely not confess his feelings to you, even if another man was in picture. He wants you to be happy, he really does. But the guilt of wanting you all to himself consumes him. At that point, he is conflicted between whether to hate your lover or himself. He hates your lover for winning your affections, and hates himself for not being worthy of you. At least, that is what he thinks. To him, you are a goddess which no one in the world deserves. Not Armin himself, and certainly not your lover. His delusions will lead him to create unforgivable flaws in your lover. He is going to accuse him of horrendous mistakes. Like the good friend he is, he is going to make you aware of those flaws. He will offer his shoulder to cry on when you are too disappointed in your lover.

JEAN KIRSTEIN

Jean is a demon in the disguise of an angel. He will act like the most supportive friend in the world as soon as he hears you are seeing someone. He will give you relationship advice and encourage you to share all the exciting details of your relationship because he is just so invested. He earns your blind trust at all costs. However, in reality, he is on the quest of making your lover despise you. He will never use his words against you, but he will leave false impressions in front of your lover. He is going to make sure that you laugh louder on his jokes compared to your lover’s. You trust him enough to not even notice the way he is too touchy whenever your lover is around. If your partner accuses you of cheating, Jean is gonna deny that statement in a manner which makes it sound like he is lying. In the end, your lover will leave you and Jean will be there to heal your broken heart.

REINER BRAUN

Reiner is content with admiring you from a distance, never really feeling the need to make a move on you since he refuses to burden you with his miserable life. However, he feels like a fool when he discovers that you are in love with someone else. How come he never consider this possibility? He was certainly too lost in a world of daydreams whenever he looked at you. He beats himself over and over again for letting someone else steal you from him. He really tries to let you live in peace, but his blood boils at the sight of you with someone who he considers not even worthy of a hair on your head. In the end, he will allow his instincts to take over and lock you up in his basement. He considers you too naive to make your own decisions, so he is there to protect you from the world.

PORCO GALLIARD

Porco is competitive by nature. He has a hard time accepting defeat in any aspect of his life, especially in terms of love. He had known that he wanted you since the day he had laid his eyes on you. He is not one to beat around the bush, his feelings were quite obvious from the beginning as he continuously pursued you with his aggressive charms. He was also delusional enough to believe that the feelings were mutual, until he discovered that you were in love with another man. Only he can describe the betrayal he felt. Porco was certainly not a forgiver. He would neither spare you or your lover from his wrath. He is going to kidnap you both and sexually claim you in front of your lover, bruising your lover’s ego just like you bruised Porco’s by rejecting him.

LEVI ACKERMAN

Levi makes sure that his demands are met. He has made it pretty obvious to the Scouts that you were his from the beginning. No one has the nerve to approach you in fear of Levi’s piercing gaze shooting daggers through their skull if they even walked pass you. However, if there is someone courageous enough to win your affections in Levi’s watch, you will have to face the consequences. Levi is entitled enough to calmly ask you to break up with your new partner. If you dare question him, the answer would always be “because I said so.” Levi is used to having authority over others. He is not appreciative of your defiance. He sees your lack of concern for his feelings as a sign of disrespect. If you still are insistent on dating someone else, get ready to be beaten up by Levi for seemingly insignificant mistakes. In reality, he is just treating you like a punching bag.

[i-need-air]

"Dude" — Bakugou Katsuki x Reader.

Summary: Your former bully, Midori, has confessed her undying love for one of the most famous guys at U.A.; you're just venting gossiping about it with Mei, not knowing Bakugou Katsuki is right around the corner, listening;

Warnings: None. Well, Bakugou Katsuki having various anger induced strokes > the normal > no warnings; light crackfic? subtle ending;

Word count: 4.5k;

[ Part 2 ];

"She confessed to him." You grinned, throwing a bunch of fries into your mouth like the absolute animal you were.

Mei on the other hand continued her work on whatever in the world her new prototype, or "baby", was. Still, you had the honor of having half of her attention, which was a compliment to say at least.

She just smiled, shaking her head, leading you to continue, not knowing a blond was quite literally behind the corner, just outside the door leading to the support department, frown on his face.

"She came to class giggling like an idiot saying she's got a plan." You made a face into the distance, remembering your classmate's obnoxious squeal. "Ugh, she started telling the Divas how she's gonna have The Bakugou Katsuki in the bag." An ugly snort left your body, which earned an amused chuckle from Mei.

Both of you were pretty well known to be very good friends, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were both quite the social pariahs too. She was a little bit strange or weird, as some called her, but not for a single second she cared, which was the reason you admired the girl so much in the first place. Meanwhile you've taken the role of the bitch of the whole school by far. Sadly, you were placed in the same class as your archenemy, only increasing your chances of being called said endearing term.

Middle-school was a nightmare to say at least, getting bullied for your looks, the way you spoke or dressed, anything really as long as you were the one being mocked. And who was the one doing the bullying? Midori. Stunning, graceful, baby-faced Midori. Petite yet elegant, a devil in disguise. Whoever crossed her path suffered her malice unless she had something to gain from them.

And now, sweet Midori was in the U.A.'s General Studies, coinciding with you in the majority but not all classes. It had to do with the tragedy that your quirk was so rare that the principal Nezu had to adjust a new schedule just for you. Just kidding, it was amazing. The actual tragedy was seeing her face every day.

Back to your heartbreaking backstory and origin; time made you tough, comments made you build a wall so tall and thick nobody could crumble it. Backstab after backstab made you learn that not everyone has good intentions, but in your loneliness you found Hatsume Mei. So honest and dedicated, so raw and passionate. A good person. The type of person your parents promised you'd someway cross paths with and gain such a strong friendship that nothing could tear it apart.

Becoming friends with her was easy, kinda. It took snapping back at Midori when she started her normal bullying routine on Mei, which ignored it without a care. You stepped in and the rest is history. It did feel good though, calling her a pathetic bitch before turning to the stranger with a cool gadget in her hands to compliment it. And, since she's a sucker for her babies, you had to deal with an hour of sparkly eyes and monologues about her plans and prototypes.

Funny girl, Mei. You remember thinking but the following day you passed by her usual spot to fill your curiosity, asking if she did solve the problem she was complaining about.

"He was the one she was planning to ask out?" She screamed at you, head inside a giant metal gauntlet and the reason you two started talking about said man in particular. News were extra-fresh anyway.

"Oh, yeah!" You shook your head, ashamed to exist in the same general proximity as a person like your former bully. "He's gonna be so rich and famous!" A high pitched squeal left your mouth as you tried to copy her voice. "Poor fucking guy, if only he knew."

"But people know she's a bitch!" She screamed again, repairing or adjusting something with almost all of her body inside the gauntlet. A smile, genuine and soft this time, formed on your face. The pink-haired girl wasn't one to talk bad about others or even care, but it was clear she wasn't particularly fond with Midori either, although the conversation was more for you to vent rather than gossip. Sure it was.

"Like the people from the Hero Department even care about us, the commoners." With a roll of the eyes, you followed. "If he's smart, he'll run away. If he's an asshole, he could use her too."

"What do you mean?" Pink flocks of hair suddently submerged from the gadget, eyes curious zooming on you. That probably got more than 50% of her attention and it was a new personal goal while she was at the workshop.

With shrugged shoulders, your answer came nonchalant. "He could date her and dump her like she's nothing. Would serve her right for all the shit she's talking about him." But the only response you got was a short quizzical look, followed by your exagerated sigh. "She's talking shit about him constantly, but then says he's hot and that his personality doesn't matter anyway. Money, fame, looks. She has a whole fucking life-plan! Then calls him a rabid dog!"

"Woah—" that surprised her.

"Woah indeed! Insane. It's insane. I don't know the guy but no one deserves that shit." When you got no response, you continued your speech, munching in the food with passionate hunger, words coming out almost indistinguishable. "Doubt he'd play her though. He looks like a smart guy. I've seen the Sports Festival—" you picked up your burger, giving it heart eyes. "—and I've seen the news. He's probably a good guy too, the issue is people don't see that and... Well, I understand what's it to be judged... Not many have what it takes to be a real hero but he does. Hope he finds happiness in life." Much talk for someone that doesn't know shit about the guy in particular, but even so faint, your gut instinct was trained well enough to spot malice and he lacked that. "And a therapist." And there's the little shit in you that had to drop a cheeky comment.

Mei's gaze turned downwards and even if you could see her brain do mental gymnastics to solve whatever problem she had in front of her super-eyes, she also contemplated your words with great care.

"He comes here from time to time—" she grins, smacking the grenade looking gauntlet with her weird utensil. "I noticed you two are similar." Your face twisted, eyes wide towards the girl.

Similar how? He was loud, bold with a foul mouth, definitely needed a therapist for those unresolved anger issues... But he was also bright as in whenever he went, people looked in his direction, like he shined; obviously strong, also from what you've heard smart, popular, lucky to be surrounded by kind people. Example being that very nice pink girl that had a joyous conversation with you the very first day of school and, much to your surprise, continued greeting and having sweet small talks with you every single time you saw each other. Or the blond haired guy that showed off a little bit too much and made dumb flirty comments with no bad intentions, the same blond that waved at you with enthusiasm when you'd cross paths. There was the red-head, Kirishima, that was an absolute gentleman, opening doors for you even if you had two functioning hands and smiled so bright it made your corneas burn, or also the dark haired guy, Sero, that you've seen helping literally anyone in need around the school campus with an easy going attitude and gentle grins. Bakugou Katsuki was surrounded by good people, good heroes just as amazing as him and if they liked him, he must've definitely had some good in him, right? Another point appeared in your mental presentation about the brash hero in the making was that he was way too attractive but the wise burried deep inside of you made that particular point dissappear. No need to think about that. Overall you weren't even remotely similar. Not even close. Two completely different human beings from two completely different worlds that would never collide. With that being said, there was the small chance that Mei hinted for you to get a therapist too, who knows.

"How even—"

"I mean!" She screwed something in place. "I mean in your— determination?"

"I wouldn't know that." You muttered.

"He screams I'm gonna be the best every time he's here—"

"Cute..." You vomit that endearment without thinking, but thankfully it got ignored.

"—and it always reminds me of you." A small chuckle left your mouth.

"Don't make fun of me."

"You say it too~"

"I just heal, Mei, it's not the same." Principal Nezu's speech, the speech he gave your parents months into the first year as they found themselves aware of your power made you hold your words. You had it in you. The potential. If incredible people like your teachers, like Shuzenji Chiyo or Principal Nezu twisted things around for your quirk, for how rare and powerful it is, you'd accept it.

"But you're gonna be the best healer ever, aren't you?" She taunted.

"Of course. Which reminds me—!"

"Hmm?" Her attention faded away slightly, but it wasn't a problem.

She cheered, both at you and at her finished masterpiece and proceeded to eat too, passing through the lunch hour without interruption.

"Recovery Girl is putting me on active duty at the infirmary from now on. Finally!"

Innocent pale purple eyes stared into deep crimson ones, furrowed brows covering them.

—

Bakugou Katsuki wasn't one to enjoy being annoyed or surprised and this extra managed to make him feel both things in a short notice.

Everyone around him froze in fear or wonder, awaiting his response without breathing or moving an inch. Meanwhile Whoever-she-was held a pink envelope in front of him, a perfume too sweet coming from it making him want to literally gag in the spot.

Another thing the boy did not appreciate was to have someone bullshit him. His senses were telling him to back off, alarms ringing in his head and those purple eyes held hidden intentions; he wasn't having any of it.

"Fuck off." He snapped, yet his stance was casual as he refused to move out of her way since she was the one that had the audacity to run into him.

Some gasps, even coming from his so-called idiotic friends, could be heard and an indignant Bakubro behind him as he got slapped in the shoulder but he did not care. Not until her lips started to tremble as she retreated her confession letter towards her chest dramatically. His eyebrow started to twitch at the sight.

It was a spectacle for anyone surrounding him.

"What's going on?" Shushes and whispers.

"Bakugou Katsuki just got a confession!" Gossip.

"What!? Who?!" Confusion.

"You said Bakugou Katsuki?!" Shock.

"Oh, she's pretty!" Awe.

"He told her to Fuck off! What an asshole!" Outrage.

"Is that Midori?" Surprise.

"The nerve—" Anger.

"Midori from—" Disbelief.

"Oh, my God, she's really doing it~!" Giggles.

He frowned deeper. If people were to talk about him, they should be talking about all the crap he's been doing and all the lives he saved, not because of a fake bimbo decided to cross his path.

Bakugou wasn't stupid either. With time he knew these things would eventually come in his direction, stuff he'd have to deal with in the future as fame would take over, but not now. He did not have time to entertain this show anyway.

There was only one destination in his mind and she was keeping him in the middle of the whole school cafeteria with prying eyes on them both.

"Bakugou, do something, she's about to cry!" Dunce Face harshly whispered, but turned towards the white haired girl that looked devastated in front of them. "Ignore him! Ask me out, I would never make you cry!"

He rolled his eyes so back in his head it almost hurt. With a need to hurl the food he just ate, he made a step to leave the scene but small hands with claw-like fingernails gripped his arm and he looked at her in utter disgust.

"No, I would never! He—" she sniffled but had no tears in her eyes. He gave her a scowl, trying to take his arm out of her grip but she scratched him in place with her tiny rat hands. "You're the one I love! I—" her bangs covered her face as she continued her show.

"Bakugou! Dude! Do something!" Shitty Hair said, his dumb and blind trust in people buying the act. A vein almost popped on Bakugou's forehead.

"I fucking said—" he pulled his arm so hard she fell on her knees by his side. "Fuck. Off."

Another set of gasps filled the room.

"Bakugou!"

One thing he did not want, even if he could tell it was a foul theater, was to hurt somebody. His asshole act ended at that but his pride stopped him from saying anything.

Glancing to see if she's hurt, Pink Idiot was by her side, helping her up and asking way too many fucking questions.

"No, I'm fine..." she said with such a meek voice he scoffed, also hearing all the shit everyone around him was talking.

"He's such a brute."

"What a mean guy—"

"She's crying!"

"Fucking asshole."

He gritted his teeth.

After the disaster with the League of Villains in the first year, people started to respect him for who he was yet one single, minuscule shit like this and they were all at his jugular.

"I took Bakugou-san by surprise." She excused his behavior to Ashido, which then suggested they should eat lunch together sometimes to make up for the trouble after apologizing in his behalf.

"Yeah, we'd love to have you around! Isn't that right, Bakugou?" The apologetic and almost pleading voice of his blond friend, if he ever was going to call him that anymore, just made him bare his teeth. If they wanted to get played like fools it was their problem, not his.

And that's how he found himself eavesdropping on the weirdo and an extra.

And with a single "Whatever." he left the cafeteria, going to check if his gauntlets were ready, annoyance oozing off him, making the sea of people part from his path. Except he didn't notice you rushing away a little bit in front of him, holding a bag of food, all amused.

Why the fuck was everyone talking about him? Can't they fucking keep his pretty name outta their mouths? With time and without finding a reason why the hell he was glued in place, he listened attentively, his suspicions confirmed and his ego hurt, but whoever was talking about him calmed his nerves a lot. He just needed to put a face to that voice. Just to see who's gossiping about him, nothing else.

—

With a full belly and a whole afternoon to study by Recovery Girl's side, you marched towards the infirmary after you bid your farewell to Mei. There was still time to walk around, grab something sweet for later and save any poor soul that Midori decided to sink her teeth in. It was common at this point, you getting in between her and her victims and taking the hit, yet somehow also being called a bitch by everyone. That's how high-school worked. She did have friends and they spread any word she spat. Vultures.

It was fine though. Hero [Y/N] is there to save the day no matter what. You scoffed at your own stupidity, turning the corner just to step on a leg that was sprawled on the floor.

He clicked his tongue, getting up with no worry in the world, but made no action to leave, settling for observing and analyzing you way too intensely.

"Watch where the fuck you're going, idiot." The man of the hour, the guy you've defended in front of your friend just screamed at you as he dusted off the imprint of your shoe left on his pants. Meanwhile you just paled in place before regaining your composture.

"Why are you sitting on the floor?" You said, tilting your head with a frown, already knowing you will not apologize.

Unimpressed by what was going on, even if you truly couldn't point out what really was going on, you made an attempt to move past him towards the vending machines not far behind, but he caught your arm in a firm grip.

You blinked stupidly at the skin contact.

"Heard you were talkin' shit."

Your stomach dropped. Legs almost gave up too if it weren't for his iron grip holding you still. In the silence and at the satisfaction of the reaction you let out, he smirked and raised his chin, only Mei's singing voice coming from her workshop could be heard. Realization hit you. Hit you? Bitchslapped you in the face and left a mark for sure, because your cheeks started feeling heated, tingly.

He dragged you away, maybe to have the privacy to murder you in peace, but your common sense kicked in and you came back from the land of the mortified.

Much like he did before, action you saw with your two own eyes and repeated, you pulled out of his strong grip and stared as he turned towards you, mouth already opened to probably eat you alive.

"I wasn't talking shit about you, dude." You quickly spoke first.

"You don't fucking know me." He growled back, taking a step towards you but like hell you'd back down.

"Don't need to be besties to say what I said." Without understanding why he was so agitated, the only thing left to do after this beautiful turn of events was to defend the honor remaining in you, so you raised your chin to be at par with him. The action clearly took him by surprise, making him glare more, if even possible.

"I don't fucking appreciate when extras talk about me behind my back!"

"I don't give a shit what you appreciate, dude." Your laugh was the complete opposite of his menacing loud voice, like ying and yang.

"Bakugou, the name's fucking Bakugou, you extra!" Bakugou recovered quickly at your snappy self, getting more bothered as you talked.

"Okay, dude." His hands fisted, shaking in place as he stared you down but did not continue.

Silence; the hallway was now filled with silence as he boiled in his own anger and as you raised your brows in confusion. Now what? Was it time to leave? You've never met anyone like him, this was peculiar—

"NOW IT'S WHEN YOU FUCKING TELL ME YOUR SHITTY NAME, YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!"

A second passes; two; at the third you're wheezing your lungs out, laughing at the ridiculousness of the scenario.

"What the fuck are you LAUGHING AT?!" His voice got louder just to top your howling. You did not expect that.

Through a sigh, regaining your breath, you say "It's [L/N] [Y/N].", seeing him retreat in his form and cross his arms. He was still seizing you up.

"If you have shit to say to me, say it to my fucking face, understood?"

"I—... Say what now?"

"I—." He copied in a mock, getting an incredulous look from you. "You stupid or what?" Your upper lip lifted, ready to cuss him to infinity and beyond but he continued. "Like about that bitch from before and shit—" even if he still was loud, he placed his hands in his pockets and looked more interested in the way the tiles on the wall were placed instead of your person. "An' like you told the weirdo—"

No time to be shocked at the implied; his last word enraged you, making your body shake with rage. "Don't fucking dare to call her a weirdo ever again."

Like a challenge, he snapped his face back at you, ready to take it.

"Or what?"

"Listen here, fucker—" now that was a nice surprised face he was pulling. "Just because I gave you a pat on the back in there doesn't mean you can disrespect people just because you think you're the shit. You're not. Now get out of my fucking way." With a final push to his shoulder, your mind was focused on going to the infirmary, steam almost coming out of your nostrils.

"Hey, extra!"

Ignore him, ignore him, ignore him. went through your mind, marching away without a glance back. Not until—

"[L/N]! You're a healer, hah?" That's interesting. He stood where you left him, watching.

"What's it to you?"

Someone sane would've left at your tone but this guy walked towards you then showed you his arms, recently scratched. Images came back to you about the cafeteria incident but did not underst—... did he want to get healed?

You scoffed.

"They're scratches, dude."

"They annoy me. Now heal." All the energy you had left in your body was channeled towards the slow blink you threw at him, at which he scoffed. But they did look nasty— and Midori did them. It was a curse by itself to look down at your own arms and remember that face, so the guardian angel in you decided to take control and be the better person.

Gentle fingers barely tapped his muscular arm. Smile crept up on your lips, feeling absolutely delighted at his obvious stiffness at the skin contact and the clear interest in his eyes, specially when the scratches started disappearing into nothing, leaving smooth silk skin under.

"Hey— Wha— Where the fuck do you think you're going?!" raspy voice got lost in the distance and one thought in your head.

"Want a lollipop for being a good patient too?" You mock and his face explodes in all shapes of red. It would've been great to mock him more, enthralled by his reactions, but with that you turned and left, ignoring the tingling under your fingers that should not be there and your stomping heart.

Did he wait all the lunchbreak to talk to you?

—

A long queue was ahead of you, earning the longest sigh out of your lungs. Life was pain sometimes. Mei couldn't hang out, food was too far away, the delicious croissants Lunch Rush made ran out as far as you could see. Pain. Just pure pain.

And disappointment. When you walked away with your food in a bag, maybe to sit under a tree and enjoy some peace and quiet, you saw her. Midori sitting at a table you did not expect. At the same table where Ashido Mina, Denki Kaminari, Kirishima Eijirou and Hanta Sero sat at. Good people. Honest, good people about to get bitten by a snake. If she was there, then Bakugou decided—

"You. Sit."

Thinking about the boy somehow summoned him behind you. Food in hand and bored expression on his face, he passed you not without giving you a stink eye. Indeed, disappointment.

You shrugged, trying not to pay much attention to the pang in your heart as you moved forward, but a voice— his voice stopped you in your tracks.

"You. Get the fuck out of my face." His growl made everyone around him turn to watch, you being one of them. There was no excuse to what came next, no way to run away past it and dissappear. He nodded his head at you out of all people and pointed at the seat still occupied by Midori; her purple eyes big, shocked, running between your frame and the blond's.

Do you know what it felt to be put in the spotlight without warning? Well, congratulations because that was your life now.

"Ba—Bakugou-san?" Her voice, now highed up and meek followed, then a small scream as Bakugou slammed his food on the table. His friends sat there, wide-eyed, but made no attempt to interrupt.

"Did I fucking stutter, bitch? Or want me to turn into a rabid dog for fucking real?"

You choked on your own spit, bag of goodies about to drop on the floor once you saw her horrified face. She knew that he knew. And when her pale eyes, filled with sudden malice, act dropped, turned to you it's when you realized she figured out where he found out from.

Not like you cared, really, but the little shit that always had to poke out every time she was in the same room as you decided to finally show up, making you wave and send her a wink.

"I said MOVE!" now— that growl, raspy and filled with anger startled her. The orange juice in her hands spilled all over her uniform and woke her up from whatever delusion she was in. With zero time to reconsider, every belonging of hers was picked up with trembling hands and she ran away to her group of cockroaches.

A smile was already settled on your face; your brain was storing that whole interaction deep within, ready to bring it back up whenever you needed a good laugh.

Life was pain and disappointment, you say? No. Life was great. Or more importantly, Bakugou was. Not like he needed to know. But he was a decent guy as he proved—

"THE FUCK YOU STANDING THERE LIKE A DUMBASS?! I SAID SIT!" —to be a pain in the fucking ass and the bane of your existence.

You gave him a face then turned to walk away, even rushing more when you heard his chair screeching on the floor. The exit was so close, so near, freedom never felt this great, the sunlight kissing your skin giving you a new hope to live. But not for long because he grabbed your hand and started dragging you towards his table.

Your hand was in his hand and he was dragging you—

Your hand— his big, warm, a little bit sweaty hand—

How could you ruin such a beautiful moment? Eyes on you two, shocked, silence, his adorable red ears being the only thing you could see as he was completely in front of you, still dragging you towards his friends...

"Did you wait all lunchbreak yesterday to talk to me?" You collided into him as you finished the sentence, his way taller form stiffened so much you felt you single-handedly broke Bakugou Katsuki for good.

But when he turned... Oh, when he turned. Biggest deer-caught-in-the-headlights eyes you've ever seen on anyone, cheeks painted so red you almost melted in the spot, lips trembling as his head worked a thousand miles per second just to find a retort. And you prepared yourself for—

"NO, I FUCKING DIDN'T! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU FUCKING EXTRA? I'D NEVER WAIT FOR SOMEONE LIKE YO— ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!" Mina's waving hand caught your attention and smiled at her. Your hand was still in his, gripped harshly as he still hasn't noticed it's still there.

"Hey! [L/N], long time no see!" She cheered, ignoring the living shit out of her screaming friend, like she's used to it.

"FUCKING LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU—"

"Hey, chill, dude. Now let go of my hand, I wanna talk to Ashido." You smiled sweetly, making extra effort to wave your linked hands arond until he finally noticed. He zapped his hand away so fast, like he's been bitten by a wild animal. Maybe even a rabid dog, if you will.

You couldn't ignore your own flustered state as you walked past him, giving him a one up, adding the absolute scandalized face he had into the back of your mind for safekeeping.

"Come sit with us!" The pinkette offered.

"Oh, hey, I know you! You're by Hatsume's workshop all the time!" Kirishima intervened with a surprised face that broke into a grin. "Nice to officially meet—"

"I fucking said." he appeared, sitting in front of you. "My name's Bakugou."

"Ok, dude, but I'm talking to someon—"

"BAKUGOU KATSUKI!" Could be heard from the stratosphere.

Note: I just realized Midori means Green [ fucking duh ] but I'm not gonna change the name or her description. I think her parents fucking up her name was the start of many accidents leading into the Midori we all know and hate. Also, I know you understand. We all know a Midori in our lives. Much love.

Note 2: I keep editing it but tumblr dot com slash Install App on Phone fucks my editing and switches paragraphs all around! If you find any PLEASE tell me, I'd really appreciate it!!!